April Showers Bring May Flowers

Week 2

2010-06-09T12:32:00.005-06:00

Started out the week by going to Medieval Times. It was so much fun for the kids and that makes it so much fun for the adults. It was a dinner and tournament, watching horses and knights perform skills that were really quite impressive. I was really impressed with the horsemanship. Our boys LOVED that all throughout dinner they could eat with their hands, yell and cheer, and watch a show.

Went in to DC two different days. Learned QUICKLY that there is no parking. There is plenty of parking spots on the street, but you can only park there for two hours, then you must move your vehicle to a new spot. There are garages and some underground parking, but all have such low clearance that I couldn't park in any of them. So I tried the train later in the week. The first trip we ended up spending the day at the National Zoo. It was the first time I tried getting all the kids around all by myself. I strapped Dahlia to me with our snugly, had Isabel in a stroller, and Peach/Tate traded off on who would be at back of the sit/stand stroller. It worked better than I thought. Quite a workout when going up the hills of the zoo, but for the most part great. The zoo was fun. The weather was a perfect day for this kind of activity. The second trip we didn't get to see much other than the train station. It was such an ordeal to get to DC that we ate and then started the trek back to our apartment. Even then, we weren't home until 10 o'clock that evening and the kids and myself had more then enough.

Emily went home so I am major bummed about that. I had much higher dreams of what my summer would be like with her here, but will have to settle with working full time and not going anywhere. Defiantly not my ideal summer but the way it turned out.

Side note: My neighbors in Utah have threatened a legal battle over our joint fence... I wonder how crazy this will get.

Week 1 in Baltimore

2010-06-06T11:56:00.003-06:00

I left Utah last Friday and arrived in Baltimore on Sunday afternoon. It was a long drive, by Emily made it great. This week was spent just trying to get my bearings. There is always office stuff to deal with. We needed to get another apartment (since we had three new guys come in yesterday and two more soon) Then just watching numbers and hoping our guys do well.
I have already been to DC, but only to the Platinum office there. I did see IKEA, but the kids did not want to go in, so neither did I.
Our apartments are amazing! They are big and the area is beautiful. The pool looks fun for the kids. Kids are working on keeping their voices down and doing what they are asked. I am working on not getting my feelings hurt so easily and getting the laundry, dishes, and dinner ready by the time Gentry gets home.
I am so glad Emily (my sister) will be here for the summer. I hope we don't drive her crazy.
So..... not much to report. This next week is going to be amazing, so stay tuned.

Gentry + April

2010-05-28T09:16:00.000-06:00

I recently shared the story of our beginning on another site; I figured I would repost it here.
Gentry and I met on a Thursday night. I had just joined the SUU Ballroom Dance Team and as a requirement to be on the team, I had to take Fundamentals of Ballroom each semester. It was my first time to the class and I got there late. I walked in and noticed him right away. He was clearly the best dancer on the team and so hot!!! The instructor talked to me for a moment and then put me in line to next to her and told the guys to switch partners. It just happened that Gentry was to dance with me next. Unfortunately, he was too busy flirting with the girl he was currectly dancing with and wouldn't let go of her. The next guy in line got tired of waiting so he side stepped him and started to take me in dance postion when Gentry cut in and took me in his arms. That was it for me. I was gone over the moon for him. He looked into my eyes and said; "You have the most beautiful eyes." I blushed and souldn't look at him again. The music starts and he introduced himself, asked my name, and we start talking. When our instructor tells everyone to seitch again he said we didn't have too and we just keep dancing. Eventually class os over and I float home. He runs home and says to his brother and roommate Landon, "I met her. I met the girl I and going to marry. Her name is April and she has the most beautiful eyes."
We dated exclusively till the end of the school year at which point we broke up. Not because we didn't like each other or because of some fight. It was really because we had never really thought about getting married. We wanted to remain friends. We would call or write over the summer but with no expectations and no promises. We were both free to date and kiss whomever we wanted. If in the fall we wanted to start dating again, we would. If not, we would go our separate ways.
After only about two weeks of being home I knew that wasn't going to work. I missed him so much. I hoped he would call in the evenings. I checked the mail everyday for a letter. I turned down friends for dates. I told people I had a boyfriend. I was sying to know who he was spending his time with. Who was he thinking about? When would we see each other again? One evening after getting off of work, I saw a guy I have had a crush on in high school. He came over and we talked about the past year. He told me about his plans for his mission and how school was going. Some flirting was happening and then he asked me what I was doing that night and if I wanted a ride on his motorcycle. I didn't even have to think about it. I said no thanks, and then headed home to call Gentry. It was the night I decided to marry him. I realized I was IN LOVE with him. I didn't want to date anyone else. I wanted to be with Gentry and hoped he felt the same way.
The end of the summer we were married. Although we haven't always been as happy and as in love as we were during the dating/engagement process, I am still over the moon for him. I still get butterflies after periods of being apart. I thank God for the blessing that is Gentry when I see him wrestling with my boys and dancing with my girls. I often wonder how I got so lucky. This year will be fourteen years since we were married and I can still remember what he was wearing that first time I saw him, the song that was playing the first time we kissed, and how it felt when he first told me he loved me.

And away we go!

2010-05-24T20:52:00.003-06:00

This is it!!! The week we move. It is the last week of school for my two boys, both of them have birthdays (Happy Birthday Court and Tate!) I have to meet with the couple that is house sitting for us. We are going to the Planetarium. I planned out options for each day of driving, full of treats, car activities, and movies to watch. I will need to have every stick of clothing washed, folded and put away, along with every piece of linen. My house cleaned. Bills paid. Run to the bank. And I need to be prepared for Dahlia with bottles and diapers.
I have missed Gentry. I get frustrated so easily at him, I wish I didn't. I try to not let it show but I have NEVER been good at covering my emotions. I think being away is what is hard on me. He has never been a big phone conversationalist (I may have just made that word up) and he is eat, sleeping, dreaming about work so we don't talk about anything else. I think of myself as fairly independent, but with five kids I can't just do something on my own, I have to haul everyone with me and I find myself longing for my partner.
I am already missing my mom and dad, ward, house, BED, yard and life back home but also looking foreword to the adventure that lies ahead.
If anyone lives along I-80 and is dying to see me and my gaggle of kids, drop me a line. I would love to have something to do along the way.

Lots to Do

2010-05-04T12:32:00.004-06:00

The summer has officially begun in our house. I know it snowed Friday Gentry is in Baltimore. I have been there and back. His office is put together and running (not quite smoothly yet but that will come).

I thought I would come home from being out there and be bored, but so far I can't keep up with everything that needs to get done. The kids are filling up all of my time with end of year activities. It really is so fun!
My week looks like this:

Monday
Grocery Shopping, including diapers and formula
Return some hats to the mall
Get some clothes for the boys birthdays
Laundry

Tuesday
Sister's birthday
Peach to preschool
Court field trip
Kevin here to help finish up Courts car
Hope of America Performance at BYU

Wednesday
Another sister's birthday
Bank run
Clean house
Court's ballroom practise

Thursday
Peach Preschool
Boys send flowers and gift certificates for teachers
Courts dress rehearsal for ballroom
BOOK CLUB

Friday
Tate's field trip to the zoo
Laundry
Pinewood Derby
Ballroom Performance

Saturday
Yard Work
Ballroom Performance

I Will Be His Hands

2010-04-07T18:24:00.005-06:00

This year Easter and General Conference fell on the same day. Initially I was disappointed to hear that. One of the things I love about Easter is seeing all of the beautiful dresses on Sunday and the great Easter lessons/messages in church, the fancy dinner, the family activities, and the spirit of the day. I love Conference because we usually make it a "jammy" day (wearing PJs all day), watch conference from the couch, have a relaxing dinner, hang out just at home, and the spirit of the day. Combining the two didn't make sense in my mind. Boy was I wrong.
Easter was a perfect day. We spent Saturday night at my mom's, kids woke early for baskets, had a big breakfast with everyone, and then Conference began. The girls still wore their Easter dressed and I did their hair during the talks. In between morning and afternoon sessions we did the family activities that have become Easter traditions. Sunday evening we ate dinner, played some games, and talked.
Saturday's sessions seemed to have started the theme of parenting and relationships and Sunday just continued it. So many good talks, and lessons that I needed to be reminded of and have reinforced. I really feel like I will be a better mother because of it. One high light for me was when the tabernacle choir sang "Christ the Lord is Risen Today". It is a beautiful song and one of my favorites.
Dieter F Uchtdorf's talk moved me. He told of a statue of Christ that was destroyed. The towns people tried to have it fixed but His hands were unrepairable. The statue now has a plaque next to it that says, "You Are My Hands". He talked about how members of the church have done many deeds of service and love, but unfortunately not all do, and not always. My sister and her husband have been through a lot in the past couple of years living in the South and when I hear some of her stories, my heart goes out to them. I want so badly to be able to reach out to them and lighten their load. I want to give service and love to them, but I am two thousand miles away. I have prayed often that Christens in her area will do things for them that I can not. Then the spirit bore testimony to me to do the same. I can be someones sister here, I can reach out without judgement and love, I can do more and be more. Hopefully someone can do the same for my sister and her family.

I had a great day on Easter Sunday this year, with new resolve that I can and will be His hands doing good for my family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and strangers. May you do the same. There was just something about the spirit of the day.

BALTIMORE

2010-03-23T15:38:00.000-06:00

This summer we will be hanging in Baltimore MD! We are all so excited. Gentry thinks his guys will do great. Court is looking foreword to seeing all the places he has learned about this past year in history. Tate just wants to do all the things we did last year (mostly the water slide). Peaches wants to see the "summer house". Isabel keeps bringing me her swimsuit and telling me to put it on her. I love it all!
I've spent the day researching the city and surrounding areas and would love to fill you in.

Baltimore played a key part in the American Revolution. In 1814 after burning Washington, DC the British attacked Baltimore where troupes successfully defended the city. Francis Scott Key witnessed the battle and later wrote "The Star-Spangled Banner", a poem recounting the attack.

July is typically the hottest month of the year with temperatures typically between 91 and 73 with high humidity. May will probably be the best month with average temperature being 77.

Baltimore has a light rail system. Its airport is the Baltimore-Washington International Airport and is about 10 miles South of down town.

As I do every year I have started compiling a list of some "must see". Here is what I have come up with so far:

The Baltimore Harbor, John Hopkins University, Baltimore Orioles is the MLB team, Colts are the NFL team, Historical Ships, Maryland Science Museum, the National Aquarium, American Visionary Art Museum, Fort McHenry, the Inner Harbor in Fells, The Baltimore Zoo, Washington Monument, The Enoch Pratt Library, Lexington Market, St. Mary's Park Island, Walters Art Gallery, Tyson Street, Antique Row, and Edgar Allan Poe Grave.

In DC I will be going to the Smithsonian, Holocaust Museum, International Spy Museum (Court wants to rob banks when he grows up so he will LOVE this), National Cathedral (sixth largest in the world), and a visit to the White House to name just a few.

Not to mention its location in the East.

I googled how long it would take me to get from Baltimore to a couple places and these were the results:

Washington DC 1 hr 3 min

New York NY 3 hr 30 min

Philadelphia PA 1 hr 55 min

Virginia Beach VA 4 hr 43 min

Warwick RI 6 hr 20 min

St Cloud FL 15 hr 23 min (hint hint Chad and Teri)

Fort Walton FL 17 hr 41 min (hint hint Sean and Spring)

Bethlehem GA 11 hr 14 min (hint hint Doug and Joanna)

If you have ever been , please let me know what I should do while there. And for anyone of you that have ever wanted to go, I know we could make room in our (actually quite large) apartment. We haven't had many visitors during the summers and I would love some!

Swim Wear

2010-03-22T12:47:00.001-06:00

I have been coveting this swim suit since I saw it. Too bad I wouldn't look good in it (still need to loose some baby pounds) but boy do I want it!

You can find it at www.anthropologie.com if you love it as much as I do

Fangs

2010-03-14T16:51:00.001-06:00

I know it isn't Halloween but Tate just lost his fourth tooth in a row. Giving him FANGS! I hope they grow in soon so he can chew his food befor swallowing it; :)

Expansion

2010-01-26T16:20:00.004-07:00

No I am not talking about my breast expanding past the point of no return. We are talking about the expansion objects because of water and temperature. Courtlands science fair project this year. I hate these types of projects. I never enjoyed them when I was in school and times really haven't changed. They stressed me out then and they still do so Gentry took the lead this time. Court loved it and I am glad we are done for another year.

Emotions

2010-01-20T16:47:00.003-07:00

As I tried to be release from the hospital, I had a talk with my doctor. He told me all the things I needed to do to take care of myself. He concluded by telling me to continue to take the Prozac and we would talk more about it at my six week appointment. I (knowing my body and emotions) decided to take another route. I stopped taking the anti depressants figuring that it was a hormonal issue because of the pregnancy. I asked Gentry to keep this in mind and let me know if he noticed my sliding. I also knew that I would have to self check on a regular basis in order to keep on it. After all, as bad as I felt I panic to think I might feel that way again. After a couple weeks I am doing great. I feel better than I did during the pregnancy and on medicine so I hope that I am back to "normal" (what ever that is).

Headed Home

2010-01-05T16:05:00.000-07:00

After too long (and not long enough) of a stay at the hospital we are headed home. Can't wait to sleep in my own bed and enjoy the comforts of my house. Jacey gave me the cutest 1920's style hat and Dahlia looks very stylish in it. I am so excited to sleep in my own bed.

Welcome Dahlia

2010-01-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

So after what seemed like the longest pregnancy known to man, I was finally induced and had our beautiful daughter. Dahlia Emily was born on Sunday morning and wouldn't cry even when the nurses worked hard to get her to do so. She weighs 7 lbs. 2 oz. and is 20 inches long. My mom was able to be there along with Gentry. Like all of my births, it is a moment that is almost indescribable. There is such an outpouring of emotion. Some of concern, stress, joy, relief, but mostly LOVE.

That night Emily and Joey brought my kids to see Dahlia and me and they did so well. They mostly wanted to see how I was doing, probably because when they walked in I was so swollen with the IV fluids of the day that I did not look myself. After crowding around her and everyone taking their turn to kiss her, Gentry and I gave everyone a little gift. We started this ever since having Tate. We want all our kids to feel like the day is special and that they are apart of that. Plus it gives them something to do while in the hospital. A distraction from when the talk turns to the grown-ups.
Each one of the kids wanted to take a turn holding Dahlia and getting a little snuggle from me. Sweet moments.
I was exhausted from the day emotionally and physically but after everyone was gone and Gentry was passed out, I took some time to just talk with this precious gift. I told her how much I loved her. That I was grateful that she joined our family. That I had many hopes, expectations, and dreams for her. That
Then I thanked my Heavenly Father for her, and for His wisdom in knowing that she belongs with us. I pray that we will be good to her and raise her in a way that will be pleasing to our Lord. Through the birth of all my children I have a better understanding of unconditional love. I know just a little more how the Lord must feel about me.

Dental School Applications

2010-01-02T15:40:00.001-07:00

He has done it! Finally after all this time Gentry has sent out his dental applications. He has already missed the deadline for some schools and barely made the deadline for all the others. After taking pre req classes, preparing for and taking the DAT, writing essays and writing out quite a few checks, the first stage of applying is finally done. I feel relieved and stressed. It is out of our hands. Now we just sit and wait. Say a prayer for us, wish us luck, or send us positive vibes through the universe. I just hope he gets in.

Finley Wedding

2009-12-19T14:58:00.000-07:00

My baby sister got married! I can't believe it. When I got married she was eight and now my ten year old is going to her wedding. She was absolutely beautiful and beaming the whole day.

Here are my kids waiting for Joey and Emily to come out of the temple

Everything went smoothly as far as Emily and Joey knew. We did have a couple mishaps. Teri got sick during the ceremony and was barely able to keep her breakfast down, Isabel spilled a full glass of water on the woman across the table from her at lunch (sorry again Stacy Shaha), and Maya threw up on three guest open toed shoes at the reception. I think it is those mishaps that make it memorable for me. Everyone laughed it off and could see the humor in it.

It was great to spend that day and the days surrounding with the whole Smith family; Chad and Teri family (that moved shortly after to the East coast), Sean and Spring family from Florida, Doug and Joanna family from Georgia, and now Joey and Emily. The cousins all had a great time. Tate and Brynn have a very specail bond. He really misses her now that she has moved.

The very best part of the wedding was seeing Emily so happy. I have loved Joey for years. Having him join the family was a formality as far as I was concerned.

Confession

2009-12-10T20:21:00.000-07:00

It's time for me to come clean. I had a bit of a relapse with depression. Nothing big. We had been pretty busy in the evenings lately. Pulling out all the boxes of kid clothes we have, going through every one's drawer, then resorting everything for what fits. I have gone through all my baby girl clothes from size 0 to 1 year. Now everything is sorted for every three months and put together. It has led to more than a few late nights and I have gone to bed anxious for sleep. Thanksgiving came and went. We spent most of the weekend at my parents house in Draper. Then just busy preparation for Christmas. I have forgotten to take my medicine. Taking my medicine had just become part of the routine. I didn't really think about it much. I was feeling sluggish, but didn't think anything of it. Then one day every time I would catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror I would have some kind of negative internal voice. "You are getting so fat" "Even with make-up you look tired" "Your skin is looking worse than ever" "How much more stretching can your body handle?" "Sick!" on and on... til that night I was wondering why I was feeling that way. After all I had called my doctor and talked to him about how I was feeling a while ago. Wasn't that why I got a prescription? Wait a minute you mean the medicine sitting next to my sink doesn't help me unless I take it every night like it says on the side of the bottle? OH! I guess I will pay more attention to that from now on. I am doing better and now when I catch a glimpse of myself all I think is how ready I am to have this baby!

Kindle

2009-11-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

For Christmas I am asking for a Kindle. I have wanted one since I first heard about them from Oprah and now I am ready!
I have been looking at all I can on line, but I feel there is so much to learn.
I saw there were hundreds of free books for the Kindle and have picked out a few that I want. I have looked for some titles and found most easily. I couldn't find "To Kill a Mockingbird" so I am assuming that it is not available on the Kindle but and not familiar enough with the site to know for sure.
I also saw that you could categorized the titles you do have so that got me thinking about what is the best way to do that. Maybe area's like "classics", "sci-fi", "adventure", "Court's options", "children's", "romance", and "favorites" is the way to go... but we will see.
If anyone has one or knows a bunch about them that has some advice, I would love it. I can't wait!

Check Them Out!

2009-11-20T18:17:00.002-07:00

Check out these pictures of my kiddo's! (On the side bar) I know I am their mother and so maybe I shouldn't say it, but I think they are so beautiful. I am blessed to have such wonderful children. Even more blessed to feel unconditional love for them. I LOVE the pictures. Hope you enjoy them too.

God is a God of Miracles

2009-11-17T19:22:00.002-07:00

On Sunday I gave a short talk in church. I grew from preparing it and want to "live better and love more" so I thought I would share it.

God Is a God of Miracles
I just spent May, June, July, and half August in Chicago. So much has changed in the ward in that time. We have many new families and it is clear that time has passed. Since driving my pregnant self and four kids across the country I have gone through a lot. Gentry needed to stay behind and finish up his work for two more weeks while the boys started school. Then after just over a week of him being home we decided that it would be best for us if he went to Washington DC for the month to take advantage of a work opportunity. Leaving me home to take care of all that needed to be done here. During this time I started a spiral progression down, suffering from depression. I prayed for a miracle.
Today I am going to talk about miracles. What is a miracle? Raising the dead? Walking on water? Man flying? The birth of a baby? Flowers in the spring? A loaf of bread?
The Bible Dictionary defines Miracles in part like this: “Miracles are a response to faith, and its best encouragement. They were never wrought without prayer, felt need, and faith.”
Joseph Smith experienced a truly great miracle. At fourteen he was visited by God the father and his son Jesus Christ. As he shared this and other miracles with others he was met with skeptics and many “non-believers”. He responded as he was instructed in the scriptures. “He that seeketh signs shall see signs, but not unto salvation,” (D & C 63:7) “Faith cometh not by signs, but signs follow those that believe. … Wherefore, I, the Lord, am not pleased with those among you who have sought after signs and wonders for faith, and not for the good of men unto my glory.” (D&C 63:9–12.) Faith must proceed the miracle, not be the result of it. To some it may seem preposterous that we must believe first and then ask God if it be true.
The bible dictionary concludes its definition of Miracles like this: “Miracles are a part of the gospel of Jesus Christ. If miracles cease it is because faith has ceased.”
Since faith plays such a big part of this I turned to Alma 32 to help me define Faith: “Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; Ye cannot know of their surety at first… But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.”
As I prayed for a miracle of my own only a few months ago, I knew that my Heavenly Father was aware of me and I hoped that He would answer my prayer. Now that I am through it, I can look back and see that even while asking I was in the mist of just such a miracle. I was able to talk about my struggles. I had great support from many of you. Calls checking up on me, words of encouragement and advice, opportunities of service, dinner brought to me, a loaf of bread to lift my spirits. I took action and called my doctor, and was able to quickly find relief. In my own little world I experience a great miracle.
President Spencer W. Kimball taught us with a book by the title Faith Precedes the Miracle. But there is, of course, an increase of faith that should follow the miracle as well. As a result of the many miracles in our lives, we should be more humble and more grateful, more kind and more believing. When we are personal witnesses to these wonders which God performs, it should increase our respect and love for him; it should improve the way we behave. We will live better and love more if we will remember that. We are miracles in our own right, every one of us, and the resurrected Son of God is the greatest miracle of all. He is, indeed, the miracle of miracles, and every day of his life he gave evidence of it. We should try to follow after him in that example.
Moroni quotes his father in the Book of Mormon:
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, have miracles ceased because Christ hath ascended into heaven? … Has the day of miracles ceased?” (Moro. 7:27, 35)
“I say unto you, Nay; neither have angels ceased to minister unto the children of men. … [nor will they], so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man upon the face thereof to be saved.” (Moro 7:29, 36)

God is a God of Miracles. They happen every single day. It is my prayer that we go to Him in times of need and then recognize Him in our lives. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

PICTURES

2009-11-09T18:18:00.002-07:00

Our family took pictures on Sunday. I can't believe I let someone take pictures of me seven months pregnant, but there you go. Thank goodness our photographer is good at editing.

Wicked Spooky Fun

2009-11-08T19:34:00.004-07:00

Halloween this year was a bit lower key than other years. I didn't even put up decorations till the week before. I didn't make or stress over any one's costume. We didn't carve pumpkins. But we all had a lot of fun. Thursday Peach had a Halloween Party in Pre-School. She was a very cute flapper girl. If you were to ask her she said she was a "shake shake girl" accompanied with the motions. Friday both the boys dressed up for school parties. Court ended up going as an Olympic skier. Tate a Kong Fu fighter. Friday night Gentry and I attended a party and went as clowns (maybe the nightmare type of clowns even though that wasn't our intention) and Saturday for trick or treating Isabel was a witch. We had so many trick or treaters come to our house I was worried we would run out of candy. I think we had about 200 kids. Very very fun! I am already looking foreword to next year.

Platinum

2009-11-07T09:35:00.000-07:00

I love Gentry's job. I LOVE the people he works with and I am so happy with the way it has changed our life. I know we must look crazy to some when it comes to taking the kids across country for the summer but it is AWESOME!!!

I love that I was able to living in Charlotte for three months. I got to visit my sister in Georgia. I was able to go to events and sights in North Carolina and experience the South in a way I would not have been able to by just visiting. I feel like I got to know people and experience the culture of that region.

This year we were in Chicago for four month. What a great city! I really fell in love with it. I would be happy to raise my family there. We went to museums and even got to go to a lot of the church sites like Nauvoo and Carthage. My week was filled with two "outings", like The Field Museum or The Aquarium, and we would go to the library at least once during the week. Then we had a weekly luncheon and a park day with all the kids. It is the best way to spend the summer. I was able to just be mom and my days were filled with paying attention to my kids.

Platinum Security had their end of year events and then started with the training for this next year. Lots of fun. Dinner and awards. Great guest speakers. Trainings. Even paint balling.

Gentry and I met with our management team from last year. We got then all gifts and compensation for all that they did to make our office the success it was. All of it has led to us thinking a lot about this next year. We have talked to our key players and can not wait to make it what we want it to be. Already we feel more secure and able to combat what lies ahead. I can't wait.

Get Away

2009-11-02T14:14:00.001-07:00

I took a little trip just to get away. I just wanted to not have to think about carpooling or dishes, laundry or faces to wipe. I wasn't trying to get away from the kids or hubby, just wanting to get away from all that goes along with it.

So for three days I headed to Park City with Jacey. It was fabulous! We stayed at the Marriott Hotel. Our room was beautiful and the location was central to everything we wanted to do.

Monday we walked main street. We went in the Family History Center and got some great suggestions of places to eat and where the movie theaters were. I got some "stocking stuffers" and a cool shirt from the Harley Davidson store for Gentry. We had a late lunch and then went to "Whip It" the roller derby movie out right now with Ellen Page. It felt so good to be sitting in an empty theater with popcorn and a slurpee at four in the afternoon. (Especially after calling Gentry and hearing Isabel throwing a fit in the background.) We then checked into the hotel, relaxed and then went to dinner at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. The night was spent talking and relaxing in bed.

Tuesday we slept in and only got up when we had to in order to make it on time to our pedicures. He had the best pedicure I have ever had with a foot massage and mud wrap. It was a two hour experience of pure bliss. Then off for lunch and some shopping at the outlet stores. I got the kids the cutest Sunday clothes for winter. I can't wait to take pictures of them all in them. Then off for another movie. This time we went to "Fame". I wasn't expecting much from this because it got really poor reviews but I surprisingly liked it. It wasn't realistic in any way but a fun, up beat film that Gentry would never want to see. Perfect for my day off.

Wednesday was another slow starting morning, and then we headed to Salt Lake. I took Jacey to one of my favorite baby boutiques and then we looked for something we could wear to an event we were both going to that weekend. We ended our time together with more food. Lunch at Red Butte Cafe. I had the most delicious fish tacos.

The time left me feeling happy to head home and appreciative of Gentry who thought it was a great idea to take some time to myself while he was Mr Mom. I had the best time and want to make something like this a yearly tradition.

Over due trip to Monticello

2009-10-31T10:08:00.001-06:00

For fall break we all headed to Monticello for a mini vaca with Grammy and Grandpa Ramsay. We had such a great time.
Highlights:
Isabel asserted her Independence more through out the week. She is really starting to talk and demand what she wants.
Peaches had her birthday, turning four and was spoiled rotten. Court gave here a perfect night time package. Jammie's, books, and a flashlight. Tate gave her a ballerina dress up outfit with fairy wings. I gave her clothes and a coat. Grammy and Grandpa gave a "paper doll" set of a princess and a ballerina made of wood and magnets. Granny gave Peaches two necklaces that she loves but I think will only mean more to her as she grows older. But her most special gift of the day was from Daddy. Gentry gave Peach a necklace that sparkled and said "Daddy's Girl" and three little rings. Peach had him help her put them on and then holds her hands together and looks Daddy in his eyes and says, "I think I'm in love." (She may have seen one too many Princess movies) It is so fun to have a girl that is growing older.
Tate loved driving the tractor with Grandpa. He got to run over an old shed and help gather scraps from around the farm to make a huge wood pile. He also loved riding around on the lawn mower while Court mowed the back yard for Grandpa.
Court got to light the bond fire! A cub scout dream to start a fire that grows bigger than a house. It grew so big and hot no one could stand with in 50 feet of it. He also won the high score on the pinball machine in Kevin and Robin's basement. A score that uncle Brady has held for quite a while.
Gentry spent some time putting siding and roofing on a shed at the farm with Justin, Kevin and his Grandpa. I think that is how he bonds with them. They all had a good time. We also got to drive Kevin's T Bird. All the kids got a ride and the boys thought they were the bomb!
I enjoyed my time most spending it with one of Gentry's favorite people, his Granny. She is so sweet and it was nice to feel like I was making a difference in her day. We talked and she painted. We even snuggled on her bed and watched an old TV show. Nothing big, just our hearts binding together. It was fun to learn that she likes ice cream just as much as I do as an evening snack.
We all enjoyed the beginning of the drive home from Monticello to Moab. Through out the years we have all gotten to know the names of certain rock formations through out the area. We have named some of our own after each child. This trip we found a formation that looked like a bell and we named it "Izzy's Bell." One more thing to look for each time we go. Kevin and Robin are always so good to us. We had such a great time and can't wait for the next time we will be headed down to Monticello.

Hello me

2009-10-29T21:50:00.003-06:00

My sister is texting me to update the blog. I have been a bit neglectful. So many little events in our life have been going on. Gentry is home! After a month of being in Wash, DC for work he got back to us and we were so glad. Everyone missed him. So we had a lot of catching up to do.

I look back on everything I have gone through in the past month and can see now how much I was blessed. Because Gentry was away I saw the signs of depression quickly and called the doctor right away. If he was here I think I would have just blamed the moodiness on pregnancy and made excuses to myself. I also had to get going everyday. If he was here, I would have pulled the covers over my head and had Gentry help get everyone ready and to school. I would not have eaten as well as I did because I would have made Gentry take care of food for the kids and just have gone hungry. I was the only parent here and I had to think about all that everyone else needed. Although that added to my stress, it gave me a purpose.

I am back to being me. About three days after my last post I found myself singing to the radio and loving the feel of the sun on my face. I caught myself and thought, "oh yeah, this is what it feels like to be me." I hadn't even realized the pieces that were missing until they were coming back. It is good to be back to myself. The head aches left about the same time the depression left. It is a blessing to be living in a day and age when I can take medication to feel like myself.

Things are Looking UP

2009-10-09T17:26:00.003-06:00

I may just be feeling back to my self. I am tired all the time, feeling like my body is 60 and moody, but I am not crying at everything and nothing. Things must be getting better. Now I had better stop complaining and just get to getting the work done.
Gentry is going to be home in the next few days after a month of being away and we couldn't be looking foreword to that more. The kids and I have missed him terribly! Then I told him I need a few days of girl time. I want a few days away with something fun to do. Not too much to ask. Just a break from carpool, dishes, laundry, meals and whining (I don't even want to take my own). If anyone would like to get away, give me a call.

Emotional Update

2009-10-01T16:03:00.002-06:00

A bunch of people are asking me how I am doing and I am not really sure. I haven't felt a big up take. Yesterday and the day before I was feeling like I had to drag myself around the whole day, but on a good note, I didn't cry once yesterday. I still have the head ache (please go away!) I don't have a surge of energy or feel like everything is great, but I don't know if I will. I am pregnant so my energy level is going to be a bit low. I am under plenty of stress, so of course I am going to continue to feel that too. I guess I don't know what the drugs are suppose to do for me. Not crying at everything was the goal, so maybe it is working. I think it had more to do with the fact that I didn't really go anywhere or talk to anyone so nothing set me off. But I still think it is a small success. Hopefully things keep getting better.

A Week with Stuff To Do

2009-09-26T22:06:00.003-06:00

This week has gone by pretty slow but my schedule was pretty full. This is a blessing because I needed a reason to get going. Tuesday and Thursday morning I taught our little neighborhood preschool. Tuesday night I went VT-ing and then again Wednesday morning. I meet with some of the neighborhood gals Tuesday, Wednesday night I went to a movie viewing with a bunch of my book club girls. Thursday I made dinner for a ward member (thanks for your help and company Janette) and then since their was so much of it, I shared with a couple others. Friday I went to Pioneer Memorial Theater with my parents and grandma that is in town from Canada. And then today I visited with Jen, a friend I spent the summer with. I am so grateful for a week with things to do. If not, who knows if I would spend my days in my jammies and for everyone to end up eating cereal three times a day. Yuck! It is much better this way.
I haven't really seen an improvement in my mood since starting Prozac on Monday but I think it is suppose to take some time. I have had the dull head ache everyday since, but I am still not sure what to blame that on. I am sleeping better. I still cry very easily. I have made more of an effort with the kids. I try not to snap and I give then the attention they need even when I don't feel like it. I am just a lot more aware. Hopefully I see the effects kick in soon. I am ready.

My First Days on Prozac

2009-09-23T15:46:00.005-06:00

I got a prescription for my hormones. Called Fluoxetine, it is the generic brand for Prozac. I picked this up on Monday afternoon and then after reading all the "literature" they sent me home with I decided I would take it just before I got into bed since I am suppose to take it at the same time everyday and the side effects often make you drowsy (or affect you adversely and make you wired). I have never taken any medication for anything except for antibiotics when I have some kind of infection or for pain just after having a baby. I didn't think I would have any hang ups about it. I guess I was wrong.
While standing at the sink filling up my glass I saw my reflection in the mirror and thought to myself, "how did I get here?" "do I really want to take this?" "are the side effects worth the benefits?" "how long will I have to be on medication?" "can't I just tough it out and do it without drugs?" The tears ran freely down my face and soaked my neck. I said a quick prayer for the strength to give myself relief. I knew my emotional response to the medication was directly related to my depression and so I turned from the mirror and took my first little blue and grey pill. It went down so easily I didn't even feel it in my trout. I turned out the light and got into bed. All night I tossed and turned. Waking every few hours wrestling with thoughts of how the medication could be changing me, how it could effect my baby. I woke in the morning neither feeling rested nor any more tired than I do normally. I tried to get done everything I would have liked to for the day and came up short as I do almost everyday now. I thought about the medication and talked about it with a couple friends. Then Tuesday night it came time to take the next one. I again cried while filling my glass with water but swallowed it right down. I slept better but not great. Both Tuesday and again today I have had a dull head ache. I don't know if it is a side effect to the medication, part of my pregnancy, or my lack of sleep but I cry because of that too.
It's so silly to cry over such small things. Which is exactly why I need this medication. I do not want to cry over every small little thing. I cry because my six year old tells me I am a mean mom, I cry because my mom calls and leaves me a message, I cry because my daughter asks for a snuggle and I don't have the strength to read a few books to her, I cry because my husband wants to go after talking to me on phone for a while, I cry because I seem to always be running late, I cry because my laundry feels as if it will never get caught up. I cry because I am not enough. I am going to continue taking the medication at least for two weeks. I want to stop crying and move into the light.

Give me drugs

2009-09-17T15:35:00.004-06:00

My house is a mess.
I am emotionally unstable.
My kids all need baths.
I am stressed to the max.
When is this feeling going to end?

Either when I give birth or I get on medication.
I can't wait until birth so I am calling my Dr.

Here is to better days.

Labor Day Weekend

2009-09-09T10:34:00.004-06:00

For Labor day weekend we had a great time. Friday we got pizza and then everyone snuggled in my bed to watch a movie we rented. Saturday we got some work done in the yard and then went to a family birthday party. Sunday was church and then off to Payson Lakes for a bit of camping. We haven't been at all this summer (and didn't go last summer) so it was well past due. We met up with Landon and Jacey's family and Chance and Brooke's family which only makes these kind of things more fun. The kids had a great time eating hot dogs, fishing, shooting the BB gun, roasting marsh mellows, and getting DIRTY! I had a great time relaxing in such a beautiful country but my body did not agree with sleeping on the ground in a tent meant for four with Isabel and kicky-Peach as bed companions. Gentry ditched me half way through the night and slept in the car. Not cool. We had a great time.

I Love You

2009-08-30T15:58:00.006-06:00

Today thirteen years ago I was married.

That day started out pretty stressful. The power in the hotel we were staying at went out during the night so the alarm didn't go off. I was woken up by my soon to be sister in laws knocking on the door to see if my younger sisters wanted to walk over to the temple grounds with them while the wedding was going on. Needless to say, I was late. I think my mom, dad, and I were the last of the wedding guests to arrive at the temple. Their were other minor complications, but all of that faded to black once I was kneeing opposite Gentry and I felt the spirit's rush of emotion.
I knew the Lord was pleased with me and my desire to be there. I felt like I was having the most intimate moment of my relationship with Gentry up to that point and embarrassed that their were so many people there to observe it. I felt a connection with Gentry I had never felt with anyone and was so happy that the Lord was binding us together for eternity. It was a moment I will always remember.

I got lucky. Knowing what I know now, I went blindly into marriage. I had/have great role models in my parents. They have always been in love. They had arguments through out my growing up years, but they seemed to be only that. Arguments rather than fights. I never thought that they weren't committed to each other. They were married in the temple and they are going to be married for eternity. I also had a really great ward during my teen years that as far as I knew everyone was happily married. Looking around at all the families during sacrament meeting I would see benches filled with children of all ages with a mom and dad.
Marriage was something I looked foreword to and always figured it would work out. After only thirteen years I now pray that it will. I have now seen and heard too many couples where it didn't. It is always heart breaking.

I am in love with Gentry in a way that I couldn't have possibly been thirteen years ago. So here is my top thirteen reason why I am in love with this amazing man.
First and for most because he loves me. I am so lucky to have him put up with me every day for all these years. (My own mother can't do that) He loves me in spite of all of my short comings day in and day out. I felt lucky when he choose me, but after all this time I know I am truly blessed that he continues to choose me.
For the way he makes up for me. Where I end early, he finishes to the end. When I am not strong enough, or smart enough, or brave enough, or just enough, he is.
Because he works so hard to provide for us.
I am in love with Gentry because he wrestles with our boys. He gets down and plays with them. He connects with them in a way that is important to our family.
I am also in love with him because he makes my girls feel like he is their prince. Peaches knows that she is a princess, and she thinks that Daddy is her prince. He dances with her, he sings to her, he kisses the hurts, and reads her books. He tells her she is beautiful everyday and makes her feel special. Already he does the same for Isabel. I am sure our next girl will feel just as lucky.
He sacrifices for me. He will give up his desires for mine.
Because he cares about the people in his life. He really loves others, and that is quiet endearing.
I love him because he is a peacemaker. He is so good at seeing the other side. He is still trying to teach me how to say "I am sorry."
I love that he respects me. This summer I was too close to three different married men that disrespected their wives in a way that is shameful. I am so grateful that Gentry respects me enough not to carry on in a way that would make me embarrassed of him or our relationship.
I am in love with him because he still turns me on.
Because he is my biggest fan.
For his dreams. And because he lets me be a part of them.
I love Gentry because he leads our family in spirituality. His righteousness effects the rest of us. I am grateful that he desires to be closer to the Lord and takes steps to continue to be headed in that direction.

I know that Gentry never reads my blog. This post was really for me. I look forward to the day when I can look back at this and add to it 25 more years and reasons why.

What are you having?

2009-08-29T09:56:00.004-06:00

I am so lucky to have

and

They have filled my life with Starwars, sports equiptment, cars and Legos.

I have also been blessed with

and

They have brought me dress up clothes, babies, princesses, hair fun, and so much chatter.

I hope my next GIRL enriches my life just as much. We can't wait!

2009-08-27T22:30:00.002-06:00

Last Sunday night, I was home with the kiddo's in bed, bored with no hubby... and decided I should take advantage of my single girl time and watch a chick flick or two. I didn't want to run to red box (it was Sunday!) so I googled "free movies on line" a list came up and I searched through a few until I found "The Proposal" with Sandra Bullock. Watched it (terrible quality) and when I was done, my anti-virus software started going buzzurk! I didn't know exactly what to do so I shut my computer down and went to sleep for the night. Monday morning as soon as I turn on my computer it starts flashing warnings and telling me to fix this and that... I click to have it fixed but the TROJAN virus has taken over not only some of my programs but my inter net.
At this point I don't really know what to do. I don't want to wait until Gentry gets back to Utah to figure it out, so I finally call my brother that lives only three doors down to get his advice. He suggest calling someone in my ward who wanted to help but didn't want me to get my hopes up. After all a virus that shuts down your inter net is serious. My brother also calls a friend who suggests down loading a couple different programs. After an entire evening of trying to purge my computer of all the crap I am back on line! Thank you Chad and Thank you Dan! Hello world.

Baby Baby

2009-08-19T08:58:00.002-06:00

I am already feeling better. Just a tough day yesterday.
I haven't announced here yet, but I am pregnant with our fifth baby!
We have a due date and sex (but I am not yet ready to put that on the internet) and we are so excited!
I have gone through the sick stage where I throw up daily and that has subsided. I am so tired now I just need more sleep. But with four others that gets tricky. I am emotional and food just doesn't sound good. I know I need to eat on a more regular basis, to keep my energy up, but I am never "in the mood".
I think I look HUGE for this stage, but I know weight is part of it. I just wish it didn't make me feel like my chest was going to explode or that my bum was too big for my pants. I am not looking forward to stretch marks or water retention.
Since I moved Gentry from a large apartment to a smaller one last week and packed myself and the kids up from the entire summer I think I over did it a bit. Lifting things that were too heavy and not drinking enough is not a good thing any time.
All in all we are happy to be adding to our family. I know it is more stress, more money, more years of sacrifice... but in the end, my children have brought me more joy than anything else. They are worth all the effort I give and even more. A new baby. What a blessing!

Where Can I Turn for Peace?

2009-08-18T22:06:00.004-06:00

I had a really really hard day today.
So much is going on and I am feeling completely over whelmed.
Court's first day of school.
Tate's too. (I didn't know until we got there to drop Court off)
He said to me, "Mommy I am going to try and be brave" when I tell him he is going to kindergarten in two minutes.
I cried the whole drive home.
My yard needs so much work that even if I wasn't pregnant, I don't know how I could get it all done. Not to mention that I came home to a next door neighbor that put up a fence between our front yards. This is against the rules of our home owners association, and Gentry and I have had talk after talk with them about not wanting it to go in.
I worry about Gentry while I am away. I don't do anything special, but we need each other.
I am feeling a bit hopeless. I think the baby blues (during pregnancy) have hit.
I feel like there is nothing to look foreword too.
It brings to mind the hymn, "Where Can I Turn for Peace" and in it the answer. To the Lord.
I guess I had better get on my knees because I need to feel His love and support.
My hope is tomorrow is a good day for all.

Missing but still in action

2009-07-01T11:53:00.002-06:00

I have been without the Internet for the past while and miss blogging terribly. I have started blogging on Word and will post dating a bunch whenever I get a chance. Just so I have a record of all the fun things we do, because we have been doing so many fun things. I hope you will bear with me until the fall.

I Love My American Girls

2009-06-20T12:32:00.004-06:00

I wanted to make sure Joanna got a chance to see Downtown Chicago while here so we headed out with a couple places to hit.

First stop The American Girl store.

Last year when I visited Atlanta we went here and it was so fun to see all the dolls, clothes and accessories. Peaches and Lorali are so cute. They brought their dolls and I wanted to get another matching outfit for Peach and her baby.

As soon as I saw this little dress I knew it would be the one I got and Lorali ended up wanting to match also. After American Girl we went to The Hersey Factory. It was a fun store where the kids played and we all had a snack.

Next stop H and M.

TORNADO WARNING

2009-06-20T06:47:00.000-06:00

One crazy storm happened last night.

Apparently there was a tornado warning.

This was the result in our complex.

Half the city lost power for over twelve hours.

I have never experienced a tornado and it makes me nervous.

I hope I never do.

I love Chicago. I do not like tornados.

Jelly Belly Laughs

2009-06-19T12:24:00.003-06:00

Joanna and kids are driving from Georgia to Utah and took a detour to Chicago. We are so lucky to benefit from the trip. They got here last night and since my kids were already in bed it was fun for me to have some alone time.
Today we decided to go to the Jelly Belly Factory. It was a blast! They did free tours that we all were able to ride a train and learn all about how Jelly Bellies came to be what they are today. It takes seven to ten days to make one jelly bean. Crazy. After the tour we looked around the store and got a treat.

Happy Birthday Court

2009-05-27T18:28:00.000-06:00

Court at ten

For Court's birthday, we tried hard to make it really special for him. Not being in the regular can sometimes be tough, but when it comes to birthdays I think it is SPECTACULAR!!! We went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch and ordered 10 appetizers for us all to taste and get filled on. Court loved the calamari and when he figured out it was little squids, he liked it even more. Then we ordered three cakes (all Court's choice of course) to sing and blow out candles. He loved having so much variety.

Later, we went to our local park and there just happened to be a fair going on so everyone rode some rides, ate hot dogs and nachos and then played on the playground. As it was getting dark we headed home but Gentry took Court for some one on one time to the movie Star Trek. When they got back I asked Court what he thought of his birthday and he said, "Best yet!" I call that success.Peach on the train

Tate on the swings

No hands

As a side note: Tate really wanted to go on his ride until it started. Then he cried and begged for it to stop. I laughed from the ground. Mean mom, I know.

Mt Rushmore

2009-05-26T19:20:00.004-06:00

I think it is about time I blogged about the drive. It was long, no getting around that, but we are here and it was worth it. There were some areas in Wyoming that I fell in love with. Then there were some areas that I could do without seeing again. The kids were for the most part were excellent and I didn't fall asleep once.
We stopped at Mt Rushmore and it was beautiful. I couldn't help thinking how that wouldn't be allowed to happen now a days. It seems there are too many opinions out there and some people would object and it could never get past the red tape. Such a shame because it really is a thing of beauty.

Afterward we stopped at a dinner to eat and as I was paying my waitress saw that we were from Utah and asked if we were LDS. I said yes and she got all excited and said she was too. It was interesting for me to experience this. I have lived out of Utah a number of different times and never felt that way about seeing another member. Don’t get me wrong I am always playing “I spy a Mormon” at Disneyland or other major attractions but it is just because I see the signs of garments or BYU shirts. This was more like a total jubilation of “I am not alone.” “There are others out there like me.” I almost fist bumped her as I was leaving. And then I thought why anyone would want to be included in the mess of what we looked liked. A single women with four children, everyone has fuzzy hair from the car seats, energized bodies from lack of moving about, then there was the three trips to the restroom during lunch for pee, then poop, then spill cleanup. It really looks like crazy on the outside. Of course, I wouldn’t trade it but that is because it is MY craziness.
We left Utah Friday afternoon around 3:30 and ended up getting to Chicago on Sunday around 6pm. I am thankful we made it here safe. Loving Chicago so far I have to say. I have so many fun things planned for the summer and I am sure I will post about a lot of it. I hope your summer is a good one.

Tate took this picture of me. LOL

YouTube Clip

2009-05-23T19:40:00.003-06:00

Maybe you have all seen this before, but I came across it today and it makes me want to get up and dance and sing.
YouTube Sound of Music
It is four mins and worth my time. :)

Missing Coal

2009-05-21T18:28:00.002-06:00

I feel a bit better today.
Our little dog of nine years died Monday after a day of much suffering.
I have had a really tough week because of it.
When we were pulling out of my driveway to start to drive to Chicago last Friday, Peach and Tate were crying begging me not to leave Coal. You wouldn't leave me, why are you leaving Coal? I told them that he was going to have a fun summer with Emily and we would see him when we got back. . .
Court and Tate both have birthdays in the next few days. I can't bring myself to tell everyone the news. I have to be able to talk about it without crying before I talk with the kids about it.
I will miss my furry companion. He really was the best dog. Hyper (and I loved it). Happy. Obedient. Great with the kids. Lazy. And mischievous. Plus I knew he loved me. And what girl can't live without a little more love.

2009-05-18T22:36:00.001-06:00

Having a BAD night.
Feeling
d
o
w
n
I hope tomorrow brings sunshine,
for tonight I can't even see the moon.

On the Road Again

2009-05-16T05:10:00.001-06:00

Do you like road trips? Today I am on the road.
In many novels often a character will take a physical journey and through events, experiences, trials and other individuals that they meet, they come to the conclusion of being a better person.
I am hoping that by driving 1,408 miles (over 20 hours of time not accounting for stops or traffic) with four kids I will be a better person for it.

One thing is for sure, I know I will be tested.

Pile On

2009-05-13T09:51:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it's just about being together

I LOVE MY FAMILY

Suicide

2009-05-12T19:54:00.001-06:00

I know this is a touchy subject. I am not trying to offend or even start a discussion, I am simply expressing my thoughts and trying to work this out in my own head. If you may get upset by this, please do not read on.

Nearly half a million attempt suicide every year in the United States, fifty thousand succeed.
In the past two years I have known a few personally that had gone this way. My neighbor down the street hung herself one afternoon while her husband was at work and her kids were at Grandma's. The 19 year old boy across the street from my mother's house in Draper hung himself in the barn while his family was on a weekend get away. My mothers good friends son(between 20 and 25) shot himself in a hotel room in Vegas last summer. A father of five, killed himself while the whole family was visiting his parents in the middle of the night a month or so ago. And an extended family member attempted to overdose on sleeping pills not to long ago.
I don't understand this. On the surface the act of suicide seems like one of great selfishness. It is like the indivual is thinking, "I don't want this pain, so I will make everyone around me suffer so I don't have too."
I know that often in the case of suicide the individual is suffering from depression or some kind of mood disorder. But is this always the case?
This past year I read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. She wrote about a character who is institutionalized because she suffers from depression, seems to get better and ends up taking her own life at the end. The book is semi biographical of Sylvia's own life and death, she was also institutionalized earlier in her life and committed suicide only a month after it was first published. Although this book is was first released in 1963 it still seemed current to me. But I still don't GET it.
Everyone has bad days. That I get. Everyone goes things hard things. But the feeling like suffering will never end, that I don't get. Honestly, I hope I never do.
As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I know the purpose of this life is to live a life that will lead me to live in the presence of my Heavenly Father. I wonder how suicide fits into all of that.

I recently read an article by M. Russell Ballard on the subject and it left me with a little more perspective on this subject. Here is some of what he said and quoted:
First, President George Q. Cannon of the First Presidency made a clear statement about the seriousness of suicide when he said: “Man did not create himself. He did not furnish his spirit with a human dwelling place. It is God who created man, both body and spirit. Man has no right, therefore, to destroy that which he had no agency in creating. They who do so are guilty of murder, self-murder it is true; but they are no more justified in killing themselves than they are in killing others. What difference of punishment there is for the two crimes, I do not know; but it is clear that no one can destroy so precious a gift as that of life without incurring a severe penalty.” (Gospel Truth, 2 vols., Salt Lake City: Zion’s Book Store, 1957, 1:30; italics added.)
President Spencer W. Kimball made an equally strong statement in 1976. “It is a terrible criminal act for a person to go out and shorten his life by suicide,” he said. (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982, p. 187.)
Those statements on their own might seem to leave no room for hope. However, although they stress the seriousness of suicide, the statements do not mention the final destination of those who take their own lives.
“And it is requisite with the justice of God that men should be judged according to their works; and if their works were good in this life, and the desires of their hearts were good, that they should also, at the last day, be restored unto that which is good.” (Alma 41:2–3.)
As I think about the worry and agony of those whose loved one has taken his or her own life, I find deep comfort and faith in the Lord’s promise and blessing to us who remain in mortality: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27.)

I am grateful for the great plan of salvation our Father in Heaven has provided for us. It is a plan of great fairness and a plan of great love.

GETTING IT DONE

2009-05-09T20:56:00.000-06:00

In the last few days, we have gotten the "appointment" thing done.
Pediatrician for Immunizations
Dental Check Ups
Eye Exam
Vet Visit and Shots
Dog Grooming
I think we are about finished. I am wondering if there is anything else I have forgotten. If so, it is almost too late. I am just about off. First I have to get done this list:
Back Yard Weeding Completed
Garage Cleaned Out
OBGYN (Lube and Brakes Checked)
Pick Up Dog Food
D.I. Drop Off
Car Cleaned Inside and Out
Birthday Shopping with Mother
and then the cleaning and ironing so I don't come home to a large list of to dos.

The Summer of Yes

2009-05-08T08:59:00.002-06:00

Last night, I had the honor to be with some really incrediable woman. We get together monthly and that is one of the few things I miss when I am away for the summer. I always walk away feeling revitalized and refeshed. I usually think about something from our discussions for days and I always learn something.
Last night I changed because of some things that were said and I will become a better person because of it.
All the women are from different backgrounds and situations. We all have different perspectives. We all respect and love each other. A couple of the women have gone through some major health issues with their kids in the last year or so and what they have learned as one of the most important lessons is to say yes as much as humanly possible to all their children.
"Mom, can I have an after school snack?" Yes. "Mommy can we go to Grandma's today?" Yes. "Mom, can I sign up for basketball?" Yes. "Mom, can I play outside before I do my homework?" Yes. "Mommy, will you play Uno with me?" Yes. "Mommy can we go to the pool today?" Yes. What would it hurt to give in to the children's demands a little more?
I have been of the previous thought that I am the mom. I am the boss. I make the rules and I enforce the rules. But I don't always enjoy that role. I don't like saying no. So I think I am going to try this summer to say yes. Of course everything still need to get done, but if the laundry takes longer to fold because I am reading a book to my kids. Or the dishes are in the sink because someone wanted to make cupcakes. I will be OK with that. I will not have children at home forever, but I will forever define myself as a mother. So by all of my "yes'" I hope that my kids hear, "I love you" because that is what it is all about.

Spring Fever

2009-05-07T07:16:00.001-06:00

Spring is such a wonderful time of year. The sun, the breeze, the flowers and trees...

My kids love spending time outside and I do too.

When we moved into this house I was nervous when we started landscaping so many flower beds. After all I hated weeding the strawberries growing up, how was this going to be any better?

Our house in Rhode Island had a ton of beds and plants already in place and we didn't know what we were doing so much so that we let weeds grow to be taller than Court and then liked the big purple thistle flower that bloomed.

Now six years later I have grown to really love it. I love weeding, planting and even pruning.

I took a couple pictures of the front yard. I just couldn't resist.

Piano Recital

2009-05-05T22:46:00.001-06:00

Courtland and Tate had a piano recital Saturday. They did great. I am happy that they are growing to learn and the piano. It makes me happy.

I love that Emily is their teacher. She does a good job and I know no teacher could love her students more.

Easter Pictures

2009-05-03T07:22:00.000-06:00

My children are the center of my world. Most everything else is dictated by their needs and what we want for them. So I can't help but post pictures of them. These were taken on Easter.

Isabel is barely a year

Peaches is 3 1/2

Tate is almost 5 and believe it or not, this is the best picture we could get of him since all he wants to do is make silly faces

Court is almost 10

Happy Birthday to ME

2009-04-30T14:45:00.004-06:00

I am 32! Can't believe it. I remember when I turned 20 thinking 30 was old. Now I feel better than I ever did at 20. I have self confidence, experience, and a knowledge I just couldn't have at 20. I look foreword to 50 when it will be even better. here I am today with no make-up and hair not done- embrace it

For now I will be happy for who I am today. Thirty-two and loving life.

Chicago Dog

2009-04-29T11:14:00.000-06:00

Friday April 24th I flew in to Chicago to help out with as much as I could for a couple days. It was good I went, but hard for me to leave since there was so much for me to still get done.

Chicago is known for a number of things. One of which is it's hot dogs. We already found an amazing place we will be going back to all summer long! The atmosphere was cool, the help great, and the food has my mouth watering even now.

Yard work

2009-04-23T08:52:00.003-06:00

Gentry started the drive to Chicago yesterday and I look around at all the jobs he didn't get done before he left. I guess I had better get to the yard work since it is one of my favorites. I have all of this to put down along with the weeding and fertilizing. As I start to dig a trench for the bulbs, I come across way more than I had barged for. I pull out all the rocks, barbwire, weeds, a bucket (how did that get in there and we hadn't come across it in the last five years?) and a dead bush.

All the work that I have done is now underground and we will be able to enjoy it all next spring. I am sure it will look beautiful then.

All I Want for Christmas...

2009-04-20T10:08:00.003-06:00

Tate and Court were playing in some sand that was on the side of my house on Saturday. They got the hose out and started making dirt clods. Then, once you had dirt clods what else are you going to do then throw them at each other? Ten minutes later I heard screaming. I ran out to see what caused it, Court had thrown one at Tate and it hit him right in the mouth. Now Tate was bleeding and telling me how badly he was hurt. I take him in and start washing out his mouth and notice that his front three teeth are moving with the water. His gums are bruised and two days later he lost two of the three. Luckily the third one stabilized and he should be able to keep it.

I wonder if these boys will make it to adulthood without any permanent scars that they leave on each other. His adult teeth will probably not grow in for a year or two, but it could be worse.

The ironic thing is that they weren't even fighting. It was just a game and both were having tons of fun until the tears. Can you just imagine what they could do if they were mad?

The tooth fairy came and left $5.00 for each tooth that night and Tuesday morning we went to the store for Tate to pick out some toys.

Easter Sunday

2009-04-13T08:01:00.002-06:00

This years Easter was crazy.

We woke early to read the Resurrection and get to our friends baby blessing. Taelie looked beautiful in her dress and Jennifer and Ben were beaming parents. After we went for a bite to eat . Jennifer had made this amazing fruit bouquet that looked and tasted incredible.

Then off to my parents house for the traditional festivities.

We did an "Egg Toss Championship" again this year. In case you are not familiar with this I will tell you how it works. Our family decorates a dozen plus eggs. Then there is a face off. Each member is paired with another member and they roll their eggs towards each other. When the two eggs hit, one egg will always break and one will stay in tact. The winner of the round will take his/her winning egg and face off a winner of another round. Until it comes down to the final four. The last four have two rounds. And the final egg still in tact is the winner!!! Award with an amazing prize. The greatest part is that it spans the ages. Peach to Grandpa can play and win. Fun Fun Fun.

We always have an egg hunt also. More than a hundred eggs are hidden around the yard. Large ones, regular sized ones, and mini ones. In them are either candy or a number. If it is a number you get, you have hit the jack pot! After all the eggs have been found (or at least all the ones we can find) we take our numbers to the prize room and according to your number you get to pick something great. The prizes range from DVDs to flip flops to nail polish, or a mystery envelope with different amounts of money in them.

Dinner is always good with talking and games to round out the whole evening.

I hope your day was as good as ours.

Pictures

2009-04-11T20:25:00.007-06:00

A quick visit to Landon and Jacey's while they were away in Seattle, led to a few good pix.

Taydon is a bit messy but everyone is happy from the cupcakes Grammy made

It was just after Conference on Sunday so I was happy too.

Good Night Sweetheart

2009-04-09T16:46:00.002-06:00

We are one of those families others may look at and think that we are strange.

I put my kids to bed at 6:30 almost every night. Now I know some of you might think this is crazy but for my family it works and it is the best thing for all of us. My kids need the sleep and I need the adult time. During the summer it will probably be not as routine, but we will see how it goes.

The routine is play/school / jobs done all day. Home from school and homework, then piano, play until 5:30. Dinner, jammies, family time (if we got everything else done that consists of a game or a book or FHE) teeth, prayers, bed. In bed each child can take a book and has a reading light. Peach and Tate usually fall asleep within the first half hour and Court has to turn lights out at 8:30.

Lately Peach has not fallen right asleep and seems to think of numerous reasons to get up. "I have to go to the bathroom", "I am thirsty", "I am scared", "I need a different book", "My baby needs a kiss", "Can I snuggle in your bed?", "I can hear the boys", on and on.

Then the next day she falls asleep while we run around getting stuff done or playing in her room. Just enough of a cat nap to keep her up that evening, but not enough to stop the whining.

The other day though she fell right asleep and that is when she is my angel. I know everyone thinks their child is the most beautiful, but mine really is. :)

One Year Anniversary

2009-04-07T07:35:00.001-06:00

Last week was our one year anniversary since we joined Platinum. It has been a roller coaster of a year. A ride that I would do again and again.

The latest loop is that our office is moving from Seattle to Chicago.

If you have ever lived there or visited for vacation, let me know what there is to do.

Happy Birthday Baby!

2009-04-05T00:33:00.006-06:00

My sweet Isabel turned one years old on Friday.

I can't believe it has been a year.

She tries to talk, by repeating everything we ask her to.

She stands and walks along furniture,

Mastering the balancing act from baby to toddler.

She eats table food.

She smiles at those she knows and loves and scowls at strangers.

She snuggles with her baby and gives it kisses.

And she is very interactive. She loves to play with anyone who gives her the time.

My favorite time with her is when I am holding her and feeding her a bottle.

She is comfortable and happy.

I am reaping the blessings of motherhood.

I wish I could freeze time and have these days last forever

But childhood is waiting

And Isabel will answer.

Bathroom Talk

2009-04-02T16:04:00.003-06:00

OK this may be a little graphic.

I have a five year old boy. I don't know if all five year old boys are this way but I am going to tell you about him.

Tate was potty trained right around three. He hasn't had many accidents through the years, but he does have one MAJOR problem. He likes to play while he pees.

A couple examples:

Sometimes he will leave the seat down and then he tries to "fill it" and get the whole seat as wet as he can.

He will pee on the screws at the back of the toilet and it runs over.

He aims for the trash can sitting next to the toilet and it gets not only all over that, but it also gets all over the wall and floor.

Sometimes he just isn't paying attention and so it just goes where ever. One day he ran in to go and didn't close the door (the next big hurdle) and he just wasn't aiming at all. So I say, "Tate!" and he turns his whole body towards me and says, "What?" "What?!" I say, "you are peeing all over the floor." He turns towards the toilet, making his parts face the toilet too, and looks down. Then turns back to me and says "No. It is in the potty." ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

I have tried talking to him about it, laughing it off, scolding him, threatening him, guilting him... nothing works. Until now, I figured we had better go back to the potty training days. Cheerios on the back of the toilet. He can throw a couple in and try and sink them. I hope it works.

I am just not thinking about the ones he eats before, after, or during the peeing.

2009-03-31T18:55:00.000-06:00

Beautiful Moab Utah

Moab

2009-03-30T13:49:00.003-06:00

Thursday, Friday and Saturday Platinum took us to Moab for a managers retreat. It was great getting away for a few days from the stress of it all (mostly) and we had a really good time.
Started the whole thing with lunch with friends, then checked in to our hotel at The Red Cliffs Lodge, check it out: http://www.redcliffslodge.com/. Then bowling with the group. I bowled more gutter balls then I think I ever have ... oh well, give them something to laugh at. We had dinner and then Matt Townsend spoke about relationships. The next day we woke for breakfast. Then on to Jeeping. We did Hell's Revenge, Fins & Things, and Potato Salad. Our jeep was really nice and seemed to handle everything well. I even drove for Fins & Things. All four tires weren't on the ground the whole time, I didn't roll the jeep and no one got hurt. Dinner Friday night felt late, even though it was at 7. After we all played Bunco and had a big bond fire where we roasted marshmallows and made smores. Gentry and I even toilet papered our assistant managers rooms while they were at the bond fire. Saturday was a day full of meetings. Trainings for the guys and the wives. It was fun to get together with the woman and talk about what we can expect and idea's on how to have a successful summer. Then we all got together again and had a couple more meetings. I love Platinum! We then headed to Monticello to spend time with my in laws. For the 3rd hour block of church they talked about their emergency preparedness plan. They talked about what kind of emergencies could happen and what everyone need to be prepared with. I know Kevin and Robin are prepared for just about anything. Gentry teased them that our plan is to have enough gas to get to Monticello to stay with them.
Even with all the fun we had, the very best part of the weekend was when we were told that a certain couple was going to go with us for the summer. I can't wait to spend May-Sept with some of my best friends! Come summer, come.

I Love To See The Temple

2009-03-14T11:12:00.004-06:00

I love to see the temple.
I'm going there some day
To feel the Holy Spirit,
To listen and to pray.
For the temple is a house of God,
A place of love and beauty.
I'll prepare myself while I am young;
This is my sacred duty.

I love to see the temple.
I’ll go inside someday.
I’ll cov’nant with my Father;
I’ll promise to obey.
For the temple is a holy place
Where we are sealed together.
As a child of God, I’ve learned this truth:
A fam’ly is forever.

I grew up singing this song and dreaming of being in one of the lovely buildings.
When I was 12 I went inside for the first time to do baptisms for the dead at the Provo Utah temple and I can still remember how excited I was. Through out my teen years I was able to go to Jordan River and the St. George temple. As an adult I have been in the Logan, Manti, Cardston, Salt Lake, Mt. Timpanogos, Ogden, Monticello, and Boston.
I have also seen in person many other like Palmyra, Los Angeles, Idaho Falls, Calgary, Chicago, Laie Hawaii, and probably some I am forgetting.
I have been blessed to have seen and felt the spirit at all of these places.

Wednesday March 11 I was able to take my four kids to the Draper Temple open house. I hope that they felt the spirit and saw more than just the amazing art, marble from Italy, or wood from Africa. I hope that they saw a future for then in those sacred walls. A place to grow. A place to make promises to the Lord and receive blessing from Him. A place to become more than what they are now. And considering how special they are now... that is pretty amazing.

Missing In Action

2009-02-25T12:16:00.003-07:00

I know! I haven't been on the computer for a bit, because ours gave out. But we bought a new one and are now back to work. Watch Out!

Happy Birthday Kevin

2009-02-20T12:19:00.000-07:00

Gentry's dad turned 60 this year and we wanted it to be a big deal because he is a big deal to us. So everyone planned a surprise for him. We made the arrangements for all of Kevin's kids to be in Monticello/Moab on the same weekend. With a couple of events planned. Surprise lunch on Saturday. Cake and gifts that evening. Church Sunday. And Hookie-Bobbing on Monday.

Saturday's surprise was so exciting. About an hour before Robin was going to bring Kevin to the restaurant, Gentry's phone started ringing. Everyone was ready and anxious to meet. We all wanted to see each other and couldn't wait to see how Kevin would react. We talked about the "close calls" when someone had almost giving the surprise away. I had not told my kids in case they let the secret slip. And I think we pulled it off. Lunch was very good and it fun to get caught up with everyone.

For gifts the suggestion was to get together 60 of something. And it made it all the more special. Justin gave an assortment of things with 60 involved. Like a 60 watt bulb, a 60 bit nail, 60 piece drill set, etc. Gentry gave "60 reasons why your so sweet" where attached to 60 candy bars were 60 memories/lessons learned from Kevin. For example, when I wrestled your voice was the only one I heard. Landon gave 60 candies from the decade Kevin was born. It was fun to see these and for Kevin to remember them from his childhood. Brady gave 60 Grandpa Kits; filled with M&M's, a tooth pick, aspirin and band-aids. It told about the side effects that may occur of pickpocketing and favoritism. So cute. Kisper couldn't make it (missed you). And Kayla gave a 60 marbles with a "marble champion" plaque.

Hookie-Bobbing was the cherry on top. If you don't know what this is, it is when you tie tubes to the back of your 4wheel drive vehicle and haul others through the snow. It was fun to do an activity all together. We all got to play in the snow like we when we were kids (oh wait some of us are still kids). Highlights of that was getting stuck in a snow drift with Brady's car, jumping from tube to tube, watching Tate be passed back and forth while being pulled, hearing Court ask every run if he could go again and again, and talking with Patrice.

We also did our taxes (not the highlight of the trip) but they had to be done and having the best accountant around we didn't have to pay nearly as much as I thought that we would.

Valentines

2009-02-14T12:19:00.001-07:00

Valentine's Day was different this year but great! I had gotten the kids a little something each with some treats. I gave it to them in the car for the drive down to Monticello and it did help to occupy them.

Gentry SURPRISED me with a one of the best gifts he has gotten for me. It meant so much because it wasn't something I was asking for or anything I was expecting (in fact because we weren't going to be home I thought V-day would go by with a happy wish and a kiss). I love that he spent some time (which he has so little free time these days) to pick out something special for me and he did such a great job.

p.s. and they were a perfect fit

The Draft

2009-02-10T19:13:00.003-07:00

Last weekend we went to Salt Lake for two days of meetings for Gentry's work. We both learned a lot and in the end got our number two choice of cities to go to. This summer we will be spending our time in Seattle Washington. We wanted a place in the West that would be a good market and we really feel like we got it. I am so excited and am looking fore ward to another fun summer.

Talking it over with the ownersI am so grateful to Platinum for what it has provided to my family. When this job was presented to us we realized it was an opportunity for us to be able to go back to school. The week we decided to go, Gentry applied and enrolled at the University of Utah, I had a baby, and for the next ten days he spent over a hundred hours knocking doors. It was such a crazy time, but we had faith that it was what needed to happen for us. Only three week later Gentry flew to North Carolina and I stayed with our (now) four kids while Court finished school. It was difficult, but we had had a confirmation from the spirit that it was right. Still today I believe that to be true. Less than a year later we are working to put a good office together. One with quality individuals, that are hard working, and who look at this as the same kind of opportunity for them.

If anyone wants to join us or thinks they know someone who might also be good for the job give me a call. I know this is a hard time economicly and this is a great option. We are going to have an amazing time.

Silliness

2009-02-05T06:46:00.000-07:00

Family Home Evening FUN

I always loved FHE growing up and I hope my kids love it now.

Kangaroo Zoo

2009-02-04T10:24:00.007-07:00

My Sophomore year of high school a girl my age moved into our ward. We started hanging out right away and we kept touch even after we were married and had kids. Then when we moved to Saratoga Springs, she and her husband were living down the street. Now our kids get to play with each other. Circle of life.

Last week Tate and Peaches were invited to Wyatt and Matthew's birthday party at Kangaroo Zoo. If you have never been, you really should go. There are all kinds of slides and bounce houses for kids to play in and on. I thought Peach might be a little afraid of the big slides, but it only took her three minutes to be running from the bottom to start again. Brynn (cousin) was also there and she was a great help to Peach. They had a really fun time and were worn out when it came to bed time that night.

Happy Birthday Wyatt and Matthew! Thanks for inviting us. And more importantly, thank you Monica for being my friend for so many years.

4th Grade Science Fair Project

2009-01-29T13:24:00.010-07:00

Court did his 4th grade science fair project Saturday and it took ALL day. Then Sunday we all worked to put his poster together. He worked hard on it and learned a lot. I was proud of all he did to be a "scientist". It really was cool. Mostly because we made ten batches of ice cream Saturday and five more Monday. Brrrr! He gave everyone a little taste of the ice cream and had fun doing it.

If your interested in being as cool a mom as me, here's what you do:

1/2 c milk

4 T sugar

1 t vanilla

and we made strawberry so we put in strawberry syrup and a little food coloring.

Double Bag this in Ziplocs. Try to get all the air out. Fill a gallon size bag just over half way full with ice and add a 1/2 c of salt. Then shake, shake, shake, for about 6 mins. Add you'll have faces looking like this:

We had lots of fun, but I am glad it is over.

How Do You Take Your Hotdog?

2009-01-28T19:37:00.004-07:00

Tate likes his with a dill pickle, mustard and ketchup.

I like mine with sweet BBQ sauce and banana peppers.

Gentry likes his with BBQ sauce and sauerkraut.

Peaches with a pickle that she takes off and eats first.

Isabel would rather not have the hot dog. She just wants the cookie. But when the cookie is gone I get a face like this:

Yummy for my tummy!

Lets EAT!

2009-01-27T08:43:00.002-07:00

Gentry was working all day a few Saturdays back so Emily and I took the kids for a bite out to eat. It is funny how whenever I take the kids out they don't seem to eat much just play and discover. I guess that is part of the experience, but come on! The reason why we are out is to eat. I have to ask the kids to sit down fourteen times and that we will talk about the games they want to play after they are done, and that they have to eat something not just drink, and to pay attention it is time to eat. I guess that isn't much different then when we are home. Regardless, it was fun so lets eat!

Torren's Blessing

2009-01-26T17:46:00.003-07:00

I haven't been a great blogger this month, but I finally got to down loading my pics so I want to hit the main events.

First week in January we drove to Cedar for Torren's baby blessing. He was dressed in a baby tux with tails and looked adorable. Brady did such a great job giving the blessing. The spirit was there and it was a really sweet moment. After the blessing Patrice feed us all and we took pictures of all the Ramsay boys. This group (along with Justin) are all of the males to carry the Ramsay name from Kevin and Robin's family. at least so far.

We really had a great time. Some more than others.

BBQ Chicken Salad

2009-01-21T21:19:00.003-07:00

Yesterdays dinner was awesome. It is close to the one they serve at California Pizza Kitchen, but better! Typing this is making my mouth water and wishing I had leftovers. I love this recipe, so I figured I would share.

BBQ CHICKEN SALAD
Chicken Breasts - I crock pot it, but you can cover and bake
BBQ Sauce
Lettuce - iceberg and red leaf
Cilantro - chopped
Green Onions - chopped
Corn - drained
Black Beans - rinsed and drained
Roma Tomatoes - chopped
Avocado - peeled and chopped
Lime
Tortilla Chips
Ranch Dressing

Cut or shred chicken. Pour BBQ sauce on chicken.
Mix all ingredients. Can break up chips or serve on side.
How ever much ranch as you want.

USA! USA!

2009-01-20T17:55:00.004-07:00

"I am part of history," I have heard this over and over today. What kind of responsibility does that statement carry? That by being alive this day in 2009 we are special? I think it is about much more than that. I believe it is about what the inauguration posters say, "Be The Change." The choices we made yesterday need to become history, a thing of the past. Today is better, brighter, and more important than where we were. Be a part of history.

Barack Hussein Obama became the 44th President of the United States of America today. It was so fun to see the crowd, and enthusiasm. A country united.

The musical number 'Air and Simple Gifts' composed by John Williams set a mood of peace and hope like no speech ever could have. So fitting to see a French Chinese-American, Israel-American, Venezuelan-American, and an African-American musicians uniting our nation full of AMERICANS.

Some of my favorite quotes from the day were, "We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things."

"Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious, and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America -- they will be met."

"Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions -- who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short," Obama proclaimed. "For they have forgotten what this country has already done, what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose and necessity to courage."

"So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled,"

With the work just beginning, I end this post with "Yes we can!"

Stinky Pete

2009-01-15T22:47:00.002-07:00

I have a smell. My left arm for the whole day today has smelled like dirt. A deep dark dirt that has recently been watered. Maybe a little bit of mildew.
I have washed it multiple times and put lotion on to try and get rid of it.
But even as I sit here at 11pm I can smell the dirt wafting to my nose.
Is it possible that I ate something that is coming out of my skin, kind of like garlic? But if that was the case why is it only my left arm?
After a good night's sleep and a long shower in the morning, if I still smell like dirt I am going to start making everyone around me smell it and weigh in on what I should do. If you want a sniff, meet me at Thanksgiving Point at the Dinosaur Museum tomorrow morning.

Ring, Ring... Nobodys Home!!!

2009-01-12T08:48:00.004-07:00

Last Tuesday Gentry went to work. He spends most of the 25 minute drive to and from checking in with his guys. Around 8:30pm he called me (from someone else's phone) and told me that his phone was missing. Somehow he had lost it between his usual calling on the way to work and when it was time to leave. He did what most people do when they misplace their cell phones, call it over and over, listening for the ring. He asked around if anyone had seen it. He retraced his steps, and searched the car. NOTHING. The only thing left to do was wait a day or two, hoping someone would come across it.
Wednesday, he stewed about it. What could have happened? After all, even if it had fallen out of his pocket or he had left it on someones desk, someone would have come across it by now. Why is no one calling saying they had found it. Where could it be?
Thursday he started getting mad. Mad at himself for losing it. Mad at whoever stole it. Because if no one is turning it in, then someone must have stolen it. Mad that he has to buy a new one right now. Mad that he is missing so many calls and can't even make calls he needs to because he doesn't have there number somewhere else. And mad that his list of things to do just got another thing added to the list, "Buy New Phone".
Friday came and it was the day to bite the bullet and just get another phone. Things got busy and he never got around to it. Then around 5:30 my cell rang. I looked to see who was calling and it was Gentry. Or at least his cell. I answer it and lo and behold it is someone who works at the same building who, when leaving work, saw this cell phone in the parking lot. You read that right. He found the phone in the parking lot three days later in weather that has been below freezing everyday and night! It is working and it seems fine. No cracks, no water damage, nothing. We arrange a place for him to hide the phone somewhere in the building so Gentry can pick it up the next time he is in the office. This morning he went to work and he got his phone right where it was suppose to be. He called me and said it was a bit dirty but still had two of the three bars of battery. So there you go. A happy ending.

When did we become so attached to the cell phone? Can't hardly live without it. Now a days, most people think that not having a phone when driving is almost dangerous. What if something was to happen?!? What do you do when you are at the grocery store and you need to call your mother for that recipe to make sure you have everything? What would happen if you were gone for the day and your child got sick at school? No one would be able to get a hold of you ALL DAY! And then there is the time when you are driving for a while and start to be bored and feel a little sleepy, you need that phone so you can call a girlfriend in order to keep you awake and your mind occupied. If you do loose your phone there is the business of the lost phone numbers. So it isn't just that you are out a phone, it is like you lost your contact book too! Everyone elses cell phone number is gone also.

I think I am going to go and call someone on my cell phone. Call me back!

Body Bags

2009-01-09T07:10:00.000-07:00

Grandma and Grandpa Smith gave all the grand kids the same thing this year. Large duffel bags on wheels. Here are the pix from youngest to oldest!

ROCKBAND

2009-01-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

We have become a bit addicted to ROCKBAND. It is so fun for the entire family. Everyone has gotten into the act. Kevin and Robin, my Dad, Chad and Teri, friends, and every member of our family have rocked out!

I wish there was more of a selection of songs- not that a hundred is not enough of a selection, just of types of music. There is one swear word I have heard in two different song. Mostly it is all Rock music (Da?!) and the songs are not always appropriate for children. Court has picked up on how to play fast, but he is also picking up on the words. I would rather not have my nine year old singing Nirvana. I hope ROCKBAND comes out with a selection of Jonas Brothers or something like that. Until then, we will just have to not let Court be the singer of our band.

Blogging Pet Peeve

2009-01-06T12:37:00.002-07:00

December was my worst month of posting since I started.
Yes, it was partly because it has been so busy.
The main reason is really because it has become a pet peeve of Gentry's. For some reason he doesn't like me blogging while sitting next to him. Since he has been home so much this last month... I have respected his feelings.
Now we are getting back to normal life where I am the queen of this castle and the blogging can continue. So watch out cyberspace. Here I come.

Snow Cave

2008-12-30T20:21:00.004-07:00

With the kids being out of school, there has been a lot of playing outside. It is the only way for me to survive. Gentry and the boys built a very large snow cave and they played in it for a few days until the sun finally melted it enough to make it unsafe. Tate kept telling me that it was warm in the cave, but I would still make them come in when I thought they were good and cold enough.

Christmas Day

2008-12-28T20:30:00.004-07:00

Isabel recieved her first baby, Peach got everything Tink, Tate got a portable DVD player for the car, and Court got ROCKBAND II for the Wii.

Lucky kids.

We spent the season...

2008-12-26T19:44:00.003-07:00

Christmas Eve. What a beautiful night.

Kevin and Robin graced us for Christmas Eve and stayed over for much of Christmas. We had a fantastic time. We got a Nativity Box as a gift this year and read, sang and acted out that glorious night. We had a pretty great time too.

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

One of our family traditions is opening one gift on Christmas Eve. It is always Christmas jammies. The kids love opening something and we always talk about the first gift of Christmas. We are so lucky to have a Heavenly Father that loves us enough to give us his son. What a wonderful gift. I know these pictures are crummy, but that's how they turned out. :(

Shout Out to Joanna

2008-12-24T11:37:00.004-07:00

As per your request Joanna....

Peach has a Christmas Do.

Love You!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-23T18:50:00.004-07:00

Merry Christmas!
This like most is my favorite time of year and each year I still feel the same excitement and love for the season. I am looking fore ward to Christmas Eve when Kevin and Robin will be here to celebrate here for the first time. We are planning on making goodies all day, cutting out snowflakes, playing chimes, reading and acting out the nativity, having yummy food, and then kids to bed so they can wake early and happy for the rest of the day.
Christmas day is full of traditions. We will wake and no one will be allowed to go downstairs until everyone is together and we are able to give a prayer of thanks. Then from youngest to oldest (this year that will be Kevin) we will march down the stairs to see what Santa brought. After a couple hours of that play we will have Swedish Pancakes for breakfast adorned with Marion berries and homemade whipped cream. After clean-up it will be present time. We open presents one by one, taking breaks whenever requested by the kids to play with the toy in hand or try on what ever outfit they received. This goes well into the afternoon because no one is in a rush. We laugh and have Christmas music playing, the fireplace is glowing but nothing is as warm as our hearts. After the gifts are opened we will prepare for a sleepover at Grandma's. I think I will let each kid choose one gift to take with them and I will try no to forget the camera. At my mom's we will have a Christmas feast where everyone eats too much and leaves the table moving just a bit slower but completely satisfied.
It is a wonderful time of year. I hope your holiday is as good as ours and full of peace.

Christmas Concert

2008-12-18T20:19:00.003-07:00

Court joined his schools choir. I was so proud of the time and practice he put in. He learned new songs and learned a bit more about performing. He gave his all at the performance and knew every word. We were so proud of him.

Let’s Play In The Snow

2008-12-18T11:53:00.003-07:00

I am so glad that winter is here.

Finally snow!

Let’s Play!

O Christmas Tree

2008-12-17T22:56:00.004-07:00

It is amazing how one small event can bring a rush of memories from our youth. Shopping for a Christmas Tree is one of those events. Last week we went took the family in search of the perfect tree. We went to one of those little places that sell trees in an empty lot. Upon opening the door of our car the smell of evergreens and a wood fire tingled my senses. The kids got out excited and hopeful for a perfect tree. Gentry was hoping to get out of there for less than fifty bucks. I was hoping there would be no fighting or crying. We looked around and it soon turned into a game of hide and seek of where everyone was. I would go down one isle, following Tate, while Peach was an isle behind me. Why fight it? So the kids went wild and I just said be careful. I found Gentry and we started looking together, but they all looked good and so we rallied the kids and had them choose the closest one. I waited by the fire and the man who was selling the tree’s made a fresh cut, and then trimmed it up to our liking. He helped load it onto the car while the rest of us piled in and on the way home we listened and talked over Christmas songs. Everyone’s dreams came true and I hope we will all remember this event for Christmas’ to come.

Renovations

2008-12-14T23:07:00.002-07:00

I am going to overhaul my blog. I can't seem to add or remove the people I read (and don't read) on the side. Just about everyone is taking there blog private. Please tell me why? I am wondering if it is important to take it private, or if the reasons are more personal. So here is my call. If you would like me to continue to check on your blog, leave a comment. If I decide to go private, I will let you know so I can add you to my readers. Thanks.

Mexician Cruise

2008-12-08T21:17:00.005-07:00

This was my first time on a cruise and my first time to Mexico.
It was romantic, relaxing, fun, exhausting, crazy, surprising, and I had a really good time. If you are considering trying a cruise, I would say go for it! We had a blast. We are already planning on going again next year. : ) Enough talk, picture time.
Landon and Jacey are not only our family, but some of our best friends. I hope they know how much they mean to us. It wouldn't have been the same trip with out them.We played mini golf almost every day on the boat. This day Gentry and Taylor played in a competition and Gentry won. You go boy.Dinner was always good with lots of choices and great presentation.
Our boat, The Spirit, had a water slide on board. Here is Landon after yelling like a girl all the way down. It was so funny.Here we are watching Karaoke.Acapulco was our first stop. Landon, Jacey, Taylor, Gentry and I went parasailing. One of these guys told me my favorite line, “You beautiful eyes” Jacey rocked it.Beautiful surroundings.Kara and Greg are the cutest couple. Newlyweds in love, here at the waterfall.Everything was fun, even taxi rides. This one we all piled in and then a man who was “iinterpreting” for us jumped in too. We asked the driver to put on some music and a party erupted!
That evening, we watched AMAZING cliff divers. Afterwards, Jacey and I took pictures with them.

Our next stop was in Ixtapa and Zihuatanejo. We were welcomed by these guys.No, No it was really nice.We went to a little island and snorkeled, loved up baby turtles, had some yummy food and hung with friends.Then we spent the rest of our time “in town”. I was missing my kids so I spent some time checking out the local children. This boy is Courts age.In Manzanillo we were at the beach for the whole day. Boogie Boarding was so fun!!!

On the boat we did lots of fun stuff my favorites were ping pong and a coin dive.Gentry rocked it! We walked away with $60.00 in one dollar coins. The whole thing was so fun to watch. We had a great time on our trip and we didn’t even need these.

Back from Vacation

2008-12-07T17:15:00.002-07:00

We are back from Mexico and I am ready to get back into the blogging world. First I have to get all the laundry done and get going on my Christmas projects. Friday is a busy busy day. I have an eye appointment, it is Gentry's birthday, he is going to a work party around 3 and then from there out of town for the weekend, I have to buy Emily's Christmas present, and I am watching a friends kiddo's. So I guess it is all about getting through the week. I hope you have a good one, and I will post all about my trip soon.

Thanksgiving Fun

2008-11-30T21:17:00.001-07:00

Thanksgiving dinner was yummy yummy yummy and the day was fun. What more can I say?

Snuggles

2008-11-28T09:18:00.001-07:00

I love my daddy!

I am Thankful for...

2008-11-27T08:03:00.002-07:00

Gentry
sleep
no workout schedule for Thanksgiving
Grandma and Grandpa
tree houses
beautiful fall days
the Riviera
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
my kids
a break from my kids
pumpkin pie for breakfast

the Spirit in our home
cousins that live so close

baby teeth

technology to be "close" to those far away

cozy fires

forgiveness
dancing

books

Wii

sweaters

and love I asked the kids and these are the answers I got.
Court said: family, education and holidays
Tate said: turkey, songs and "bear feet"
Peaches said: snuggle baby, my Isabel and Princesses

Happy Thanksgiving!

And as my friend Karen said,

"may your hearts be thankful and your stomachs be stretchy"

Two Wheeler

2008-11-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

Tate is riding his two wheeler now without the training wheels.
I took the training wheels off and tried running along side of him, hanging on to the seat but he was to scared to trust me. He kept turning to look at me and make sure that I was there for him. After three of four times up and down the street he finally started trying for to actually ride. He got it really quick but noticed in our shadow that I wasn't hanging on just running along side and threw a fit. He was so mad at me and wouldn't let me help him any more.
I went in and got Gentry and ten minutes later was called back out to see Tate giving Daddy all the credit for teaching him how to ride a two wheeler.
There is no credit for the mommy.
He couldn't be prouder of himself

And I couldn't be prouder of him.
Good Job Tate!
You ROCK!
He even got the special plate for dinner.