I Love You

Today thirteen years ago I was married.

That day started out pretty stressful. The power in the hotel we were staying at went out during the night so the alarm didn't go off. I was woken up by my soon to be sister in laws knocking on the door to see if my younger sisters wanted to walk over to the temple grounds with them while the wedding was going on. Needless to say, I was late. I think my mom, dad, and I were the last of the wedding guests to arrive at the temple. Their were other minor complications, but all of that faded to black once I was kneeing opposite Gentry and I felt the spirit's rush of emotion.
I knew the Lord was pleased with me and my desire to be there. I felt like I was having the most intimate moment of my relationship with Gentry up to that point and embarrassed that their were so many people there to observe it. I felt a connection with Gentry I had never felt with anyone and was so happy that the Lord was binding us together for eternity. It was a moment I will always remember.

I got lucky. Knowing what I know now, I went blindly into marriage. I had/have great role models in my parents. They have always been in love. They had arguments through out my growing up years, but they seemed to be only that. Arguments rather than fights. I never thought that they weren't committed to each other. They were married in the temple and they are going to be married for eternity. I also had a really great ward during my teen years that as far as I knew everyone was happily married. Looking around at all the families during sacrament meeting I would see benches filled with children of all ages with a mom and dad.
Marriage was something I looked foreword to and always figured it would work out. After only thirteen years I now pray that it will. I have now seen and heard too many couples where it didn't. It is always heart breaking.

I am in love with Gentry in a way that I couldn't have possibly been thirteen years ago. So here is my top thirteen reason why I am in love with this amazing man.
First and for most because he loves me. I am so lucky to have him put up with me every day for all these years. (My own mother can't do that) He loves me in spite of all of my short comings day in and day out. I felt lucky when he choose me, but after all this time I know I am truly blessed that he continues to choose me.
For the way he makes up for me. Where I end early, he finishes to the end. When I am not strong enough, or smart enough, or brave enough, or just enough, he is.
Because he works so hard to provide for us.
I am in love with Gentry because he wrestles with our boys. He gets down and plays with them. He connects with them in a way that is important to our family.
I am also in love with him because he makes my girls feel like he is their prince. Peaches knows that she is a princess, and she thinks that Daddy is her prince. He dances with her, he sings to her, he kisses the hurts, and reads her books. He tells her she is beautiful everyday and makes her feel special. Already he does the same for Isabel. I am sure our next girl will feel just as lucky.
He sacrifices for me. He will give up his desires for mine.
Because he cares about the people in his life. He really loves others, and that is quiet endearing.
I love him because he is a peacemaker. He is so good at seeing the other side. He is still trying to teach me how to say "I am sorry."
I love that he respects me. This summer I was too close to three different married men that disrespected their wives in a way that is shameful. I am so grateful that Gentry respects me enough not to carry on in a way that would make me embarrassed of him or our relationship.
I am in love with him because he still turns me on.
Because he is my biggest fan.
For his dreams. And because he lets me be a part of them.
I love Gentry because he leads our family in spirituality. His righteousness effects the rest of us. I am grateful that he desires to be closer to the Lord and takes steps to continue to be headed in that direction.


I know that Gentry never reads my blog. This post was really for me. I look forward to the day when I can look back at this and add to it 25 more years and reasons why.

Twelve Year Anniversary

Today is my anniversary. I have been married for twelve years now. Twelve years! Teri (my sister in law and closest friend) asked me if it felt like twelve years and I said yes. Then she said, "Twelve years is 1st grade to 12th grade. That's how long you've been married." That is a little scary.
So here is a quick overview of events that took place these past twelve years together. As accurate as my memory serves.
1st year. We played house. It was such a fun time. We had a tiny apartment and no money living in Cedar City but we were so happy to be with each other day in and day out.
2nd year. In Salt Lake, going to the U. Worst apartment I have ever lived in for cheapest amount of money. This year was harder on me emotionally because we no longer were playing house. It was an adjustment trying to figure out how to be a couple and also an individual. I worked a ton of hours and we still struggled to make ends meet.
3rd year. Gentry graduated from the U. We were pregnant and the baby consumed our thoughts. When Courtland was born I thought my heart would bust with the out pouring of love I had for both of them. Gentry started working for Hewlett Packard.
4th year. We moved to New England. This was the hardest year of my life. I wasn’t sure if we would make it another year. So much stress and worry. We saved like mad to try and get as much together as we could to try and buy a house.
5th year. We bought a house that shortly thereafter got broken into. I started to realize how lucky I was to have a handy man. Those skills were put to good use on our house that we spent time and money fixing up.
6th year. This year was consumed with two things, Young Womens and the Fertility Clinic. We wanted another baby so bad and it wasn’t happening for us. I was so hopped up on hormones everyday that I know was I was not easy to live with. I was such an emotional wreck this year I can’t imagine how Gentry lived with me.
7th year. After having our house broken into a second time we moved back to Utah. Plus we were finally pregnant and wanted to be closer to family. We bought a house in Saratoga Springs and the very next month had Tate.
8th year. This was the year Gentry made a move from Hewlett Packard. After enjoying the benefit of a large company for so long we looked around and quickly found a job to move too. Within the same year they sold the company and laid off the entire team.
9th year. I worried about Tate. He was such a handful and his will was so strong. The boys got along great with each other but I had a hard time enjoying just being a mom.
10th year. This was the year we had Peaches. It brought so much joy to have a little girl in our family. It was so fun seeing Gentry with a daughter. She had him wrapped around her finger from day one.
11th year. A great year! We bought a piece of land and dreamed of the future. It seemed like our future was bright and everything would be smooth sailing. (I should have known better)
12th year. After another turbulent change in job, Gentry decided to go back to school. I guess we have student life to look forward to once again. We were blessed to have Isabel, making us a family of six. We moved across country again but just for the summer for a little adventure.
This next year? Who knows? Our journey has just begun.

(I know this picture isn't great, it is a picture of a picture)

Twelve years ago today I knelt across an alter from Gentry and promised forever. I had no idea what forever meant, but already I am grateful that he choose me to take the journey with.
Thank you Gentry for all of the good times. Thank you for helping to share the load for all the harder days. You have made me who I am. These past years have been amazing. You have helped me to understand the plan of salvation in a way I would not have been able to on my own. I have felt unconditional love and given and received true forgiveness from you. You are my best friend. I still think you are sexy and If I had to do it all again, I would still have chosen you. I hope and pray our lives will continue to get better and better.