Happy Birthday Court

Court at ten

For Court's birthday, we tried hard to make it really special for him. Not being in the regular can sometimes be tough, but when it comes to birthdays I think it is SPECTACULAR!!! We went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch and ordered 10 appetizers for us all to taste and get filled on. Court loved the calamari and when he figured out it was little squids, he liked it even more. Then we ordered three cakes (all Court's choice of course) to sing and blow out candles. He loved having so much variety.

Later, we went to our local park and there just happened to be a fair going on so everyone rode some rides, ate hot dogs and nachos and then played on the playground. As it was getting dark we headed home but Gentry took Court for some one on one time to the movie Star Trek. When they got back I asked Court what he thought of his birthday and he said, "Best yet!" I call that success.Peach on the train

Tate on the swings

No hands

As a side note: Tate really wanted to go on his ride until it started. Then he cried and begged for it to stop. I laughed from the ground. Mean mom, I know.

Mt Rushmore

I think it is about time I blogged about the drive. It was long, no getting around that, but we are here and it was worth it. There were some areas in Wyoming that I fell in love with. Then there were some areas that I could do without seeing again. The kids were for the most part were excellent and I didn't fall asleep once.
We stopped at Mt Rushmore and it was beautiful. I couldn't help thinking how that wouldn't be allowed to happen now a days. It seems there are too many opinions out there and some people would object and it could never get past the red tape. Such a shame because it really is a thing of beauty.

Afterward we stopped at a dinner to eat and as I was paying my waitress saw that we were from Utah and asked if we were LDS. I said yes and she got all excited and said she was too. It was interesting for me to experience this. I have lived out of Utah a number of different times and never felt that way about seeing another member. Don’t get me wrong I am always playing “I spy a Mormon” at Disneyland or other major attractions but it is just because I see the signs of garments or BYU shirts. This was more like a total jubilation of “I am not alone.” “There are others out there like me.” I almost fist bumped her as I was leaving. And then I thought why anyone would want to be included in the mess of what we looked liked. A single women with four children, everyone has fuzzy hair from the car seats, energized bodies from lack of moving about, then there was the three trips to the restroom during lunch for pee, then poop, then spill cleanup. It really looks like crazy on the outside. Of course, I wouldn’t trade it but that is because it is MY craziness.
We left Utah Friday afternoon around 3:30 and ended up getting to Chicago on Sunday around 6pm. I am thankful we made it here safe. Loving Chicago so far I have to say. I have so many fun things planned for the summer and I am sure I will post about a lot of it. I hope your summer is a good one.

Tate took this picture of me. LOL

YouTube Clip

Maybe you have all seen this before, but I came across it today and it makes me want to get up and dance and sing.
YouTube Sound of Music
It is four mins and worth my time. :)

Missing Coal

I feel a bit better today.
Our little dog of nine years died Monday after a day of much suffering.
I have had a really tough week because of it.
When we were pulling out of my driveway to start to drive to Chicago last Friday, Peach and Tate were crying begging me not to leave Coal. You wouldn't leave me, why are you leaving Coal? I told them that he was going to have a fun summer with Emily and we would see him when we got back. . .
Court and Tate both have birthdays in the next few days. I can't bring myself to tell everyone the news. I have to be able to talk about it without crying before I talk with the kids about it.
I will miss my furry companion. He really was the best dog. Hyper (and I loved it). Happy. Obedient. Great with the kids. Lazy. And mischievous. Plus I knew he loved me. And what girl can't live without a little more love.

Having a BAD night.
Feeling
d
o
w
n
I hope tomorrow brings sunshine,
for tonight I can't even see the moon.

On the Road Again

Do you like road trips? Today I am on the road.
In many novels often a character will take a physical journey and through events, experiences, trials and other individuals that they meet, they come to the conclusion of being a better person.
I am hoping that by driving 1,408 miles (over 20 hours of time not accounting for stops or traffic) with four kids I will be a better person for it.

One thing is for sure, I know I will be tested.

Pile On

Sometimes it's just about being together

I LOVE MY FAMILY

Suicide

I know this is a touchy subject. I am not trying to offend or even start a discussion, I am simply expressing my thoughts and trying to work this out in my own head. If you may get upset by this, please do not read on.

Nearly half a million attempt suicide every year in the United States, fifty thousand succeed.
In the past two years I have known a few personally that had gone this way. My neighbor down the street hung herself one afternoon while her husband was at work and her kids were at Grandma's. The 19 year old boy across the street from my mother's house in Draper hung himself in the barn while his family was on a weekend get away. My mothers good friends son(between 20 and 25) shot himself in a hotel room in Vegas last summer. A father of five, killed himself while the whole family was visiting his parents in the middle of the night a month or so ago. And an extended family member attempted to overdose on sleeping pills not to long ago.
I don't understand this. On the surface the act of suicide seems like one of great selfishness. It is like the indivual is thinking, "I don't want this pain, so I will make everyone around me suffer so I don't have too."
I know that often in the case of suicide the individual is suffering from depression or some kind of mood disorder. But is this always the case?
This past year I read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. She wrote about a character who is institutionalized because she suffers from depression, seems to get better and ends up taking her own life at the end. The book is semi biographical of Sylvia's own life and death, she was also institutionalized earlier in her life and committed suicide only a month after it was first published. Although this book is was first released in 1963 it still seemed current to me. But I still don't GET it.
Everyone has bad days. That I get. Everyone goes things hard things. But the feeling like suffering will never end, that I don't get. Honestly, I hope I never do.
As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I know the purpose of this life is to live a life that will lead me to live in the presence of my Heavenly Father. I wonder how suicide fits into all of that.

I recently read an article by M. Russell Ballard on the subject and it left me with a little more perspective on this subject. Here is some of what he said and quoted:
First, President George Q. Cannon of the First Presidency made a clear statement about the seriousness of suicide when he said: “Man did not create himself. He did not furnish his spirit with a human dwelling place. It is God who created man, both body and spirit. Man has no right, therefore, to destroy that which he had no agency in creating. They who do so are guilty of murder, self-murder it is true; but they are no more justified in killing themselves than they are in killing others. What difference of punishment there is for the two crimes, I do not know; but it is clear that no one can destroy so precious a gift as that of life without incurring a severe penalty.” (Gospel Truth, 2 vols., Salt Lake City: Zion’s Book Store, 1957, 1:30; italics added.)
President Spencer W. Kimball made an equally strong statement in 1976. “It is a terrible criminal act for a person to go out and shorten his life by suicide,” he said. (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982, p. 187.)
Those statements on their own might seem to leave no room for hope. However, although they stress the seriousness of suicide, the statements do not mention the final destination of those who take their own lives.
“And it is requisite with the justice of God that men should be judged according to their works; and if their works were good in this life, and the desires of their hearts were good, that they should also, at the last day, be restored unto that which is good.” (Alma 41:2–3.)
As I think about the worry and agony of those whose loved one has taken his or her own life, I find deep comfort and faith in the Lord’s promise and blessing to us who remain in mortality: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27.)

I am grateful for the great plan of salvation our Father in Heaven has provided for us. It is a plan of great fairness and a plan of great love.

GETTING IT DONE

In the last few days, we have gotten the "appointment" thing done.
Pediatrician for Immunizations
Dental Check Ups
Eye Exam
Vet Visit and Shots
Dog Grooming
I think we are about finished. I am wondering if there is anything else I have forgotten. If so, it is almost too late. I am just about off. First I have to get done this list:
Back Yard Weeding Completed
Garage Cleaned Out
OBGYN (Lube and Brakes Checked)
Pick Up Dog Food
D.I. Drop Off
Car Cleaned Inside and Out
Birthday Shopping with Mother
and then the cleaning and ironing so I don't come home to a large list of to dos.

The Summer of Yes

Last night, I had the honor to be with some really incrediable woman. We get together monthly and that is one of the few things I miss when I am away for the summer. I always walk away feeling revitalized and refeshed. I usually think about something from our discussions for days and I always learn something.
Last night I changed because of some things that were said and I will become a better person because of it.
All the women are from different backgrounds and situations. We all have different perspectives. We all respect and love each other. A couple of the women have gone through some major health issues with their kids in the last year or so and what they have learned as one of the most important lessons is to say yes as much as humanly possible to all their children.
"Mom, can I have an after school snack?" Yes. "Mommy can we go to Grandma's today?" Yes. "Mom, can I sign up for basketball?" Yes. "Mom, can I play outside before I do my homework?" Yes. "Mommy, will you play Uno with me?" Yes. "Mommy can we go to the pool today?" Yes. What would it hurt to give in to the children's demands a little more?
I have been of the previous thought that I am the mom. I am the boss. I make the rules and I enforce the rules. But I don't always enjoy that role. I don't like saying no. So I think I am going to try this summer to say yes. Of course everything still need to get done, but if the laundry takes longer to fold because I am reading a book to my kids. Or the dishes are in the sink because someone wanted to make cupcakes. I will be OK with that. I will not have children at home forever, but I will forever define myself as a mother. So by all of my "yes'" I hope that my kids hear, "I love you" because that is what it is all about.

Spring Fever

Spring is such a wonderful time of year. The sun, the breeze, the flowers and trees...

My kids love spending time outside and I do too.

When we moved into this house I was nervous when we started landscaping so many flower beds. After all I hated weeding the strawberries growing up, how was this going to be any better?

Our house in Rhode Island had a ton of beds and plants already in place and we didn't know what we were doing so much so that we let weeds grow to be taller than Court and then liked the big purple thistle flower that bloomed.

Now six years later I have grown to really love it. I love weeding, planting and even pruning.

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I took a couple pictures of the front yard. I just couldn't resist.

Piano Recital

Courtland and Tate had a piano recital Saturday. They did great. I am happy that they are growing to learn and the piano. It makes me happy.

I love that Emily is their teacher. She does a good job and I know no teacher could love her students more.

Easter Pictures

My children are the center of my world. Most everything else is dictated by their needs and what we want for them. So I can't help but post pictures of them. These were taken on Easter.

Isabel is barely a year

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Peaches is 3 1/2

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Tate is almost 5 and believe it or not, this is the best picture we could get of him since all he wants to do is make silly faces

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Court is almost 10

More Teeth Problems

While on a quick trip to Chicago Court calls me to tell me that he has a tooth ache. OK. We will get you an appointment when I get back. Then my mom gets on the phone. No. Court was up till 4:30am with his tooth ache. OH! I guess you will need to call the dentist and get him in right away. They put him on antibiotics and yesterday Gentry took him in... extraction! He had a cavity that got infected. Since it was a baby tooth and you could see the grown up one, in the x-ray, coming in the best thing to do was just to pull it.
So there you go. One less tooth. I am setting up dental appointments for us all next week. Hopefully the worst is over.