Growing Up

Isabel has had a couple mile stones lately, and I haven't recorded them. She has really gotten the sitting up thing. She had her first tooth break the gum surface. No longer breash feeding. All a sign that she will not be a baby forever. Growing up, I have told all of my children, is not allowed without my permission first. I would just really like a pause button sometimes (and a fast forward button too please.)

While my children seem to breeze through milestone after milestone, I wonder, how have I grown lately? How have I progressed? I recently got my temple recommend renewed and it was a privilege to be able to answer those questions to the Lord. I do feel worthy to enter His house and I consider it a privilege to be able to do so.
The first time I went through the temple, I have to admit, I was a bit freaked out. There was no "temple prep" class in my stake, and I didn't have any close friends or family members who had gone through recently to somehow guide me. I was struggling with my mother at the time so even if she had wanted to talk with me about it, I would not have been open to what she had to say. I learned only days before I was married that I would need to cover up my wedding dress for the ceremony. It upset me because I wasn't prepared mentally for that and not mature enough to just go with the flow and not let it bother me. The afternoon I took out my endowments was overwhelming. It was nothing like I expected. I didn't have a flow of spirit. I was shocked at all the symbolism (like I said, completely unprepared). I left that day feeling a little uncomfortable and scared. I wondered if I had made a mistake. Was the temple really something I wanted to return to again and again? At the time, no. Gentry and I went once again on our honeymoon. Then probably only one other time that first year. I still didn't have a testimony of the temple. I certainly did of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. But I struggled with the temple. I thought to myself, if my parents have a testimony of this, and my husband has a testimony of this, there must be more to it. Thankful there was.
After twelve years of going to the temple I have gone from going because it is the right thing, to going because I want to. The parts of the temple that I struggled with the most in the beginning are now, believe it or not, my favorite. I feel peace and comfort there. More than that though, I feel my Heavenly Fathers love for me. All the blessings He gives me are because of His love.
As I sat through Kayla and Ryan's sealing I was touched by the gift that my marriage is. Eternal marriage. I am so grateful to have Gentry. I am thankful for who he chooses to be each day. He honors his priesthood and because of that our whole family is blessed. Our children were born under the covenant. They are being raised in a home with so much knowledge of eternity. They are being taught a blueprint to live their lives with joy. For all that I lack as a mother, we are doing this right. Gentry is a great father. He has become a man that I hope my boys will grow up to be.
I think I have grown quite a bit.